Notification.

ONE
i haven't been receiving any notification from blogspot since i don't know when. perhaps since last 2/ 3 weeks.

i've already godek2 the setting part. but still, no change happened.

i think its due to the spam comments which i received and which i tend to delete them. i should have just ignored it la.

dammit.

can anyone please help me on how to do the setup again or how to overcome this probs? thnx so much!!

TWO
by hook or by crook, im going back home tomorrow. im going to bring back the last assignment ever home. pray that i'll be able to do it.

called home just now and adik has already happily dancing with the song " yeay yeay, kakda balik esok!!!" after i told mak the news. mak also was quite surprised with my sudden decision. but i can hear her smile.

see. they miss me. i know that. haha.

this time, im not going back to my REAL home. im going back to my NEW home in KB.

heheh.

new hectic place, new cozy home, same lovely people. ;).

the home was planned and built since few years ago. and they've just moved in last week, when i was not there! owh, aku irihati. but not forEVER. its a weekend home in a middle of the busy city. with air-conditioned!!! :D

i loike!!!

so now, early good bye kl and the pilot, just be ready. ;)

I'm losing.

4 in 46.
its my lost.
and im not stopping here.
yet.

more to go!!!

p/s: im now breathing with good air after all major assignments gone.
phew¬

Karma.

now i believe that whatever you did to others will sooner or later come back to you. especially those the bad things that we did.

well. it sounds scary. it does and it will haunt us forever. maybe not on you. but me, YES.

i have a story to share with you.

it happened long time ago. more than a year ago but less than 2 years. so, its long already. but i still cant forget it. i have had this one acquaintance. and we were close. so close. and this acquaintaince was a guy. so i think you got what i mean here.

the relationships went on ok. so well i must say. it lasted for several months. then after we met, unexpected things started to happen. and we couldnt figure out why. its not that we didnt know, but i think perhaps of the ego. so we lived in denial. for each other. that sounds so pathetic right?

soon after. we cant stay together anymore. things started to roll out one by one. and the last resort was, we broke up.

it was pain, ache, pang, prick, sting, stitch, throe, tingle, twinge, distress, agony, anguish, misery, suffering, torment, torture, inflammation, swelling, damage, harm, hurt, injury; it was like everything!!! everyBAD things that ive never felt before. i was so gloom that time. dead. and im not really fully recovered until...

bad to worse things happened. i tried to regroup myself. i learnt a LOT. A LOT. ive never open myself to others anymore. i became so defensive and careful. friends did help me a lot at that time. to recover. not to recover, but to live. to stay alive and be alive. i was able to continue my life although hesitantly. but i did.

bad to worse. worse to worst! we started to contact each other again. after the acquaintance has found a new friend. i think we both suffered. but i was worst than this acquaintance because i cnt forget the relationship. i cant forget this acquaintance! i always taught that it just happened.

then, one day this acquaintance told me that we should stop contacting each other. ok. fine. i did it. but how long it lasted, only God knows. i started to contact this acquaintance again. at that time i cant really understand me, why was it so hard for me to forget this acquaintance. its not really a big deal. and this acquaintance didnt really care me that well tho.

i warned this acquaintance. i started to do really stupid silly things for this acquaintance. haunting and stalking. but i never disturbed this acquaintance's new friend. because for me this things were between me and the acquaintance only. i cnt forget this acquaintance. ive tried smpai penat. smpai rasa nak mati. and at that time, only my zahir was there. my soul was already dead. i smile without smiling. i laugh without laughing. you know what i mean.

so bodoh i know. but who can stop me? i was in misery. it lasted for several months. at last, i surrendered. its not that im tired, but this acquaintance made me stop. he got the power. and i was not. so i backed off. but, the bad things (haunting and stalking) that i did to this acquaintance were still in my head. it haunted me back. i cnt forget my sillyness. i should have not do that i know.

and at that time, after i regretted of what i did to this acquaintance, i realized that, one day it will happen to me. another acquaintance will do that to me. im scared. yes. really scared.

it's like a karma. it happens to me. last few days. it was a trauma. evrything that i did before, come like a movie in front of my eyes. a familiar movie. the bad things that i did before, have come back to me. i was scared. the trauma and the misery come again. i was shivering, afraid that it will happen to me again. my tears poured again. after so long, ive tried not to. i have the not-sleeping-for-10-days eyes. myself filled with fear and dread.

ive used to loose my soul. and i pray it wouldnt happen again.

alhamdulillah. it didnt. but ive got the balasan for what i've used to do before.

dont worry, now im feeling better. much much better.

thanx Allah.

for giving me chances to experience the pain and give me back the lost colourful rainbow to me. im glad with what i have now.

i am doing fine.

amin.

the end.

Adik.

adik kene chicken-pox yang teruk. since last week. she cant go to school.

indeed the whole kiddos bunch at home (i have 6 younger sis n bro) pun kene.

so far, cume ibah je belum kene. kebal sgt kut.

but among those 5, adik yg paling teruk. smpai habis jari tgn n kaki n celah2 jari sume.

she sounded so sad when she spoke to me on the phone last thursday.

today, waking up this morning, she opened her eyes and suddenly, she asked mak this question: " mak, bile kakda nak balik?"

she missed me!!!

terus mak called me and let me spoke to her.

she told me how itchy it is, the med is pahit and bla bla bla... she sounded happy, perhaps because she can hear me. i hope so.

she asked me the same question: "bile kakda nak balik?"

i am touch. felt like want to cry but i cant.

i used to feel like this. before. when i far away from home. far from m'sia. being in another country. the feeling that you feel when you cant be with the loved ones when they really2 need you. its the same feeling that i feel now. altho im now back in m'sia for good but still i cnt be with them. all the time. i feel guilty. very.

and for god sake. adik is just 5 years old lil girl.

can i cry now?
;(

The Real Student.

i have two hilarious stories to share with you which happened during the microteaching session in school.

the topic for this lesson was healthy food.

1st situation.

teacher: How do you feel about your weight? Do you worry about it, salmah?
salmah: mmm.. Sometimes, i worry about my weight.
teacher: Why do feel like it?
salmah: because, i always eat a lot but i didn't do any exercises. So i feel really bad about it.
teacher: So, what do you do about it?
salmah: i eat some more!!!
teacher: ???

whole class: roar of laughter. ha ha ha ha .

2nd situation.

teacher: Do you worry of your weight, Kuntum?
kuntum: mmm.. Not really, because i keep gaining weight more and more.
teacher: So, does that mean you do not worry of your weight? Yes right?
kuntum: No. Not really. I just ... DON'T care!!!

teacher and whole class: ooooooooo... ooookay...

these are the real situations which might and might not happen in our school classroom nowadays. students are becoming to be more matured, how to say... yup, clever maybe.

so, all teachers-to-be, beware and be prepared of this. take notes of the precautions and responses that might help you when you face this situation one day. who knows right?

funny yet scary.
heheh.

p/s: all the names have been changed to cover the originality of the speakers. :p

MV

i went out to MV today specifically to buy this.
but then, you see what else i bought...
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i 'ter' bought a pair of jeans and a new pair of heels.
and guess what the jeans are size 10!!!!???
which means a SMALL size!!!!???
what have happened to my body?
ngeh ngeh.

so now im aiming for size 8 then.

;)

These should tell a good story...

of this.
we nailed it.
we arrived as the 1st team at the end line.
we are the champion!!!

;)

All of a sudden.

i HAVE TO run 1900m today.
in one evening.
and its not planned at all.

i got down to the field to participate in acara tarik tali. only. that's the mission. once i reached there, i was asked to do the 1500m run which is 7 and 1/2 of the pusingan padang. since i've been jogged nearly everyday for 15 to 20 mis a day, so i accepted it. it was GOSH exhausted. i walked for 1 complete lap. haha. but i think i made for the third place. if my assumption is right.

just right after i finished the 1500m run, and with the peluh still membasahi all over my body, i was asked to run for 400m. as for saringan. with the left-over energy that i have, i made for the 2nd place to qualify myself for the final this 10th of april.

believe it or not, i dont even participate in the acara tarik tali, since the event is going to be done tomorrow's evening.

basically i memang menempah maut turun ke padang this eve. after ive been (still) exhausted with the 2 hours amazing race/ treasure hunt this morning at school.

but then i was amazed that darah athletics is still inside me (saki-baki) since i was able to run. again. after 2 years i stop utk mengumpul lemak. haha.

and im proud to contribute some points for my rumah sukan. GO BLUE!!!

footnote: this is the 3rd post for me today actually. gile ke hape???

Just feel like it.

i feel like i want to scribble something today.
just bear wit me if you happen to read this ok.
(pity you).

my notey clock notes 3.21pm now. me, in 1 piece after having my long bath just now is still sitting here since last 1 hour; on the floor staring and typing on the keyboard. well, basically doing things which are not necessarily benefit me. haha. and my hair is dried already.

i didnt perform my zuhur yet. its a reminder. so i cant make it too long here.

we have a celebration of English day today at the school. i woke up quite early to attend the opening ceremony at the auditorium. was started with a sketch; basically it was about the importance of acquiring English language for life. its not excellent but it was good. and i was amazed with the boys; the cohort 2 boys who participated in the sketch. its actually a pantomime. i was always have the idea of our cohort's boys will not be participating in any kinds of activities for today's event. well, i think they rather prefer to sleep soundly at the hostel. but im wrong. they participated and they were good. seriously they were. im proud of you guys. would love to give a pat on your shoulders.

i was in one of the teams who joined the ipba amazing/treasure hunt race. sounds something like that. we wore red today. there was 10/11 teams all together. and we need to race from one pitstop to another until we reach the end line. in every pitstop one or 2 teams will be eliminated. the games consisted of physical and language/mental activities.

we started quite nicely, leading the others. but we stucked at the field. for the lompat getah thingy. i was really exhausted at that time. my lung felt like going to burst out and i felt like i want to stop; literally berhenti dan duduk tanpa bernafas. my chest felt so hot. but i continued to walk, tip toed slowly and started to run again when i felt like i can. at that time i just prayed that my semput wouldnt attack me. and alhamdulillah, it didnt.

i was so proud of my team because for the 2 hours we ran around the ipba, looking for clues and doing tasks, no one ever uttered the word penat or letih or tired although i could see it clearly on their faces. we supported each other, gave encouragement (kind of yelling. haha)- come on girls, faster faster, you can do it, a little bit more- that kinds of things. and finally, we won the race. yeay!!!

it was a lovely day for me. i was so tired but its worth it and i was so happy today. we jumped and cried our lung out when we realized that we were the 1st team to arrive and we are the champion. its like semua penat hilang in a flash!!!

the pics will be uploading soon.
i promise. ;)

Keeping the record.

do you think i look happier now?
sincerely?

;)