The recall.

It's been so long I dont quite remember the last time I write. The only thing that I write dutifully now is my lesson plan for work. Even those, im lacking few weeks I must say.

This is not good. My writing is becoming worsen.

My life has been so monotonous with not so much to write about. Im having the same routine each week and time passed by so fast it's already reaching mids of 2014.

My not so little boy has getting heavier instead the fact that he is not a fan of rice, noodles etc (he lives with biscuits! ), few more words to pronounce and 'mummy' is not yet on the list. Boooooo -____-.

Sometimes when I carry him I feel like he is getting taller than me in any minute. He is such a doll most of the time and I wish he will stay like that for a long time.

I think I will write frequently after this. Just hang on there because I think im back. 

Salam and greetings.

1. 

My babies and baju raya.

This year will be a more joyous Eid for my little family. My boy is now happily cruising with his two foot, exploring every inch of the house. What makes me curious is he loves to slip himself in a tiny narrow place such as between tv cabinet and the wall or behind our bed in the room. Obviously he can't fit into that space, he will struggle hard to fit into and will always cry if he can't. Phew.. I dont understand why...

He don't crawl at all nowadays. In fact he wouldn't stop walking and walking and walking which makes me wonder, does he fell tired at all? He don't apparently. He only stops walking when he sleeps. And only during that 1 - 2 hours i can do my work at home and in the kitchen. Without any disturbance.

From my readings, i get to know that baby grasps information like sponge. So basically since he was a small baby i introduce and talk to him about many different words- things that we do and things that he can see. Now he seems to understand few directions and sentences that i always utter to him for example ; sit down, let me help you, good bye, give me a kiss, drink some water, do you want shushu?, cookies, book, ball, stand up and walk, lets wash, lets change, lets go, let me feed you, give mummy, clap.

Since he loves listening to the song 'Hello', he knows that waving means hello which sometimes i think he got confused with goodbye. Hmmp. Its okay baby, you will learn it later on.

And now we are familiarizing him with 'Amin' which is shake hands. You know its very important since the eid is coming soon and he needs to master that so uncles and unties will give him green envelope. hehe.

We have bought baju raya for him and the husband too. The same pattern and colours. We bought them when we were hometown back in June- hoping that it will still fit Muizz by the time we got back for raya.

We got it from the boutique above. 

Actually they have family collection. But after trying the kurung i don't think its worth the price. Therefore, i decided to not buy any baju raya for me this year and just wear what i already have. My husband was so shocked listening to that because he knows how much i love shopping hehehe. 

For this upcoming raya i have no new baju raya but basically i have sewn quite a number of kurungs for me this year around, so i will just wear that at home since nobody at home has ever seen me in it. It will be new baju too. ;)

Alahai bazar Ramadhan.

Alhamdulillah. Ramadhan Kareem datang lagi and im breathing still to grab this opportunity. As for me what excited most during this month, other than the ibadah, rewards and etc, is the bazar ramadhan. I love bazar ramadhan. The food, the smoke, the ambience, people buzzling looking for food, they are just so exciting. 

Bazar ramadhan makes me to be a bit more energetic in the evening after the whole day of fasting. I used to go bazar ramadhan since i was a small kid. Sometimes only to buy one lauk or one type of kuih. But thats worth it.

However, since 2009, my interest for bazar ramadhan dropped off. The reason is there is no exciting of bazar ramadhan in this state. i think i can generalize as that. Ive been living in two different town in two different part of the state. And both places didnt offer good bazar Ramadhan. Jauh sangat kalau nak dibandingkan dengan semenanjung. 

This year is the first time im fasting here. Yesterday, we eagerly went out heading to bazar around our place looking for only one additional lauk. Since ive cooked some at home. We went to 4 bazar and ended up with only a bag of laicikang and isi ketam goreng. Yups so frustrating.

Moral of the story is better cook at home. Owh how i miss bazar ramadhan at home!

Hiatus.

This blog has been abandoned for quite a time. Ive been thinking of updating some of highlighted events happened in my life but i kept on delaying till i felt they are not relevant anymore.

Ive been active on Instagram these days. You know browsing through people's pictures is fun and somehow it helps to kill the boredom at work too. Im not that busy at work pun. In fact i have ample free time that i can (actually) take care of my own boy without sending him to babysitter.

I miss blog and blogging, thus this entry come up. I will try to update frequently after this. I hope i will find the writing mood back to share here. As the appetizer, the recent photo of my baby boy who is not a baby anymore.

He is now a big boy that he doesn't need mummy to put him to sleep at night anymore. Tskk tsssk..

Last Resort.

Another new reason for me to be glued to the tv. What with the new season of The Voice and Amazing Race. Owh not to forget Adam dan Hawa on 134 channel ;).

Awesome!

Do you know there's a sightless contestant on the Masterchef US 3 and she's still surviving after 3 rounds of elimination. She must be a hell of a cook isnt she.

We grow as nature wants it.

Today i went out alone- without my husband and my baby or any sister with me. 

I went to bank to make new bank card since i've lost it. Well, even staying at home i manage to lost things. Talking about how careless i am which is just so not me. My husband also pelik with this since im always the one who's able to manage things. Im just human beings sayang.

Otw home i went to Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara to collect muizz's mykid. Sempat lagi singgah di bazar ramadan Kampung Raja, padahal tak puasa pun. lol. 

Driving alone makes me think how i feel just like the old times; single, going out alone, driving in high speed, settling matters that is pertinent to me, without thinking of other people's needs, my baby might cries for feeding or having to rush back home for things that matter. I feel so free that i manage to settle everything in less than 2 hours- of driving from bank to JPN to bazar ramadan with all the traffics, cars stopping in every single gerai di tepi jalan and whatnot.

When i reflect back what had happened to me this few months, i just still cant believe that im now a mother and i have a small baby to cater for. Sometimes i even cant believe that im married! I know it cliche, but how time flies.

Looking back to when i was pregnant, carrying my baby inside me was the longest 9 months in my life- on how my body grew and stretched to be a balloon. Till now i still cant believe that i have the strength to push my baby out of me. The weight, the aches, the labour pain- all of those are far far away from my mind. Macam dah lama berlalu. Everything is so surreal now.

And i smile alone in the car thinking of those experience that taught me the real life.

When i arrive home, my baby is still sleeping fitfully. Just right i change my clothes, he cries. Time for feeding. ;)

Toddles

It has been a busy 'eating' day.

Today is my official 2nd day at home. And this is the list of what have i eaten since i woke up this morning. Ikut turutan dari pagi hingga petang. Here we go:

1. Toast with butter and sugar
2. Nasi bungkus lauk ayam masak merah
3. Kueh- mueh seperti roti bakar, cekmek, kuih bom, puding karamel
4. Fruits: nangka, jagung madu, rambutan and mangga
5. Nasi air Kak Som 2 mangkuk (will blog about this in another entry)
6. Sira pisang
7. Pisang goreng and ubi goreng
8. Kepok lekor
9. Toast with cream cheese spread
10. The list will continue tonight i reckon haha

Btw tomorrow is 1 Rejab. The whole house akan berpuasa tomorrow including me. Its the last day for my ganti too. Alhamdulillah.

A bit of tazkirah buat renungan semua:

Rasullullah s.a.w. bersabda;

“Puasa 1 hari pada bulan Rejab seperti puasa 40 tahun dan diberi minum air dari syurga”

"Ketahuilah bahawa bulan Rejab itu adalah bulan Allah, maka barangsiapa yang berpuasa satu hari dalam bulan Rejab dengan ikhlas, maka pasti ia mendapat keredhaan yang besar dari Allah swt.

Selamat berpuasa semua.

O Yeah!

Im starting my 3 months break today.

ooooooo yeah!

What a night.

i think the whole Sabah experienced what i have last night. It happened exactly at 3.20 am, just right before my alarm sounded. I was planning to wake up for sahur this morning when suddenly everything became dark. Really dark. And then i can feel the heat. and i started to perspire profusely.

i waited in the dark for the electricity to come back. And its not. My husband finally woke up because it's too hot!!! OMG. He woke up to find the candle and of course he cant find it since im the one who keeps everything in the house-in order. i was still lying down, waiting for miracle to happen. 

'Please Ya Allah. i really can't stand the heat. Furthermore, i want to have my sahur..'

But obviously no miracle happened.

I reluctantly woke up and lit up the candle. And i cant get myself to sleep anymore. And with the mosquito. i never realized there's any mosquito in the house before until last night. My husband was dozing off on and off. He knew i cant sleep because of the heat. It happened to me when im entering my 3rd semester. I get sweat easily dan badan selalu rasa panas. Sangat panas, until berpeluh smpai basah baju. And i always told my husband 'Kalaula berpeluh gini, i jadi kurus kan best. Ni dak. Makin kembang ada..' He just smiled and said ' tak gemok la.. u kan pregnant..'

Owh. Well said. What do you expect a husband to say to the wife who constantly-everyday- saying and whining that she's becoming fatter and fatter. i lost my shape already!

Well no miracle happened until this morning. i was informed that perhaps the whole Sabah have no electricity last night.

Since im small, i think this is my first experience of having no fan and no lamp up until morning and i cant even shut my eyes even a little. And i wonder what will happen if after i get this little one and this happens again. Owh my. Please dont.

I've been meaning to write.

Seriously we actually don't have internet connection at the new home. Even the phone line is very weak. And finally today im able to online at the new school (ehem ehem) pinjam my colleague's broadband. Well, the line here is quite fast. Perhaps i need to activate my broadband soon.

I've been meaning to write about many things; the new home, the new school, new workload, timetable. I've been away-out of country for almost 3 weeks and i've just arrived school this week. Will put up pictures of the trip soon.

My life is getting organized now. With the husband with me all the time, i think all the worries are now gone. There are hitch here and there but so far we've been through. Perhaps we've never live under one roof for this long. So basically all the habits, bad and weird ones are now came out. It's funny though on how two different people with different personality, background and ways can live in harmony together.

We are still working on completing the home with necessary items and furnitures. It is a small home, so basically we only stuff in with things that are important. We even dont have dining table and chairs. Tak muat. :p. We have applied for the Astro. But it seems that the Astro application nowadays is complicated since the form needs to be sent to KL first then after that the person in-charge will come to the house to install. We applied on the monday and up until now there is no news yet. Seems like i cant watch Malaysia competing in Axiata Cup this weekend. How frustrating.

The baby is developing well i think. Well i cant really see it now. But he or she is kicking and moving, doing whatever he or she wants inside like all the time. The baby is very active and the nurse didnt say anything during the recent visit on tuesday. I've been gaining a lot of weight!!! In fact, the nurse said i've gained extra 2 kilos for this 4 weeks. haha. Im now weighing 65 kg at 27 weeks. My before pregnant weight was 49 kg. You do the math ok. I dont know how many fat i will yet gain since the due weeks is 40th week. Uhuh. Scary la jugak.

This is the recent photo after we got back from the 3 weeks trip. With abang botak :)

Well.

I changed my layout and being me, i don't know how to change the font. Especially for the blog entries. How frustrating!

Furthermore, the gap between the header and blog post is too far and i don't know how to make it close. Frust betul!!

I was hoping that this one will last for a very long time, but seeing how many 'frust' word i used here, well, im not sure.

Sofya, in answering your comment well i dont even sure what's the sex for my baby yet. i havent done the scan for that yet but im hoping it's not what you guess. haha. as for the color of the clothes, we are now buying the colors that can suit both sexes.

we'll be knowing the sexes soon i guess and will let you know.

i always love the sunset here at the Esplanade where the view is always magnificent. Masha-Allah. I purposely stood like that so you can see the small bump. It's not that small anyway. :)

i love school holiday!!!

toodles~

Writer's block.

I always want to write something here. It's been so long and lots and lot of things happened. However, as i sit in front of the screen and started typing, everything went blank. I have so many things in my head that i don't know which one to put up first.

I have stopped writing since i came home for the long holiday. I didn't even write in my diary as well. And worst of all, i've stopped reading too!! Dont even remember when was the last time i hold a book in my hand. The last time i bought a book was on the saturday, last two weeks. And i dont even have a sneak peep of it yet.

i'm just not in the mood.

Things happen nowadays are not of what i desired.

Now, im at the in-laws. Going back home this evening. We've been travelling to and fro since we were home from Sabah. It's only 10 minutes journey so it doesn't matter really. I can return to mak's home for lunch if let say she cooks laksa lemak or her famous tomyam and back here at in-laws for minum petang. :)

My little one has been good i think. Next week we will go for the first check-up. Will update about it more later. Overall, my body have been so good despite the back ache that always always bother me, very frequent that i have to be masssaged. Owh honey, be good inside sayang. i have no problem with food that now i can wallop anything that i want haha. And yes you are correct i gain weight. Not 1 or 2. but 4 kilos!

Not good i know i know.

>Picas masa rumah mak naik air last week.

Monster.

The monster in you.

Get rid of it.

Seriously.

Intisari rancangan.

kalau zaman kecik-kecik dulu, hari jumaat je ayah akan beli surat khabar. kan hari jumaat cuti. weekend gitu kalau bagi orang duduk belah key ell. dan setiap jumaat ada satu pasar tani yang super besar dan super best di pekan. jadi, setiap jumaat akan berpeluang menengok surat khabar. laman utama yang dituju mesti kat part 'Intisari Rancangan' untuk stesyen tb.

masa tu ada 3 stesyen tb je. tb 1, 2 dan 3. biasanya kalut sangat mau tahu cite hindustan apa jam 2 petang di tb 2 untuk hari tu. hihi. pastu akan nengok ada mega movie atau cerekarama yang best dak malam nya. biasanya malam minggu ayah let us watch tv till a bit late.

weekdays pulak, memang takda harapan nak watch tb till late. in case ayah keje sampai lewat malam baru boleh senyap-senyap tgk tb. to ensure mak tak tahu. tapi volume paling bawah dan tak on kipas. kan, lau ayah tetiba balik, kantoi je kipas masih berpusing walaupun dh di off. haha. bergelap dan kepanasan lah. sanggup tu semata-mata nak tengok cite. paling ingat cite Fantaghiro- The cave of the golden rose.

must find the dvd for the series.

this weekend, since i am not going to my husband's place, so i need to draw up my own intisari rancangan for the weekend. supaya tidak kebosanan. my husband will be staying alone in his rent house this weekend too. sama-sama lah kami berdua menahan kebosanan weekend yang bagi orang lain hanya 2 hari, but for us, it is loooooong 48 hours.

heh.

sampai sekarang masih buntu apakah intisari rancangan weekend ini. bleergh!

It is in our hands.

these days i've been having few conversation which revolves around the same topic. of how bored and how routined is our life right now. the same job, the same morning wake- ups, the same routine ofwaking up, eat, watching tv, sleep and it goes the same routine again. and again. how it bored the life of mine. that is for sure.

and with no loved ones close to, i think i've just have enough of it. the routine i mean.

being in this job, i can say that i am still the novice. however i just can't feel the urge, the adrenalin to continue surviving in this job is not there anymore. maybe i need a change.

when some friends open up to me saying that their life is bored, i just can't stop myself to response that it's your life and you are in charge of it. it is in your hands to colour the life that you want to make it beautiful.

it is in your hands.

it is the truth i know that. despite being able to say those motivational words to others, i am still loosing myself. i can't colour my own life. and perhaps, i am the worst among the friends who admit of their life to me. i need the transfer so bad. i just need to be close to my family or my loved ones so bad.

owh God, i am lifeless here.

Pink inspiration.

Tetiba terasa nak pakai pink. to light up my mood. i miss my old self. the bright and cheeky cheerful side. Eh, tetiba je.

All the picas, full credits from here.

inspiring right? like seriously!

The Question

one evening, at the Secret Recipe counter paying for 2 brownies.

chubby cashier girl: How can you maintain this body?

the customer: well, by having double brownies of course.

chubby cashier girl: owh... (frustrated). Seriously, how?

the customer: by being far apart from the husband i guess.

chubby cashier girl: ooooooowh... (speechless)

how sad~

photo: gambar ihsan 'the customer' ketika chubby. It was 6 months ago.

Apply jangan tak apply.

Banyak sangat dugaan akhir-akhir ni. E-gtukar saya masih belum dapat di access. Dah call sana sini sinun. paham-paham je la kalau call goverment's office macam mana kan. belum lagi menyumpah seranah, tak kan masuk line tu. but once, the line got attached, terus bercakap dengan sonpan santun. ye lah, kita nk mintak tolong orang kan.

so far, they've faxed my details to me and after some alterations, i've faxed them back. Have called them and they say, i mean She said i will need to wait for them to fill in the data, then i can access the e-gtukar. She said tomorrow.

InyaAllah.

dah macam susah sangat even nak isi borang pun macam-macam masalah, my hubby said " macam Allah nak tolong kita je dapat pindah kali ni macam susah sangat ni..."

InsyaAllah sayang. Jangan lupa solat hajat.

i miss u~

.

i deserve to be happy.

i deserve to be happy like im used to feel before. i miss the feeling of happiness, i miss to laad ugh with all my heart. i miss my wide smile.

and i will be happy. because like, others, i deserve to be happy too.

today is the 19th day of fasting. alhamdulillah. masa berlalu dengan cepat. ramadan sudah mahu berakhir. im really glad because it's coming to the end. it means that i can go back home. to besut. i can't wait, seriously.

however, im also afraid whether i will have another chance to feel the next ramadan or not. it's all His work.

fingers cross.

Lost of vocab.

Macam kehilangan vocab to describe kesedapan dan ke-delicious-an yogurt cheese cake ini. The one yang saya pegang with my right hand.

Sila ke Secret recipe untuk merasa sendiri. Serius sedap. Tak tipu.

Boyfriend's flite home is tonight. Kenapa hari ini masa berlalu dengan sangat cepat? Benci!

Footnote: Ignore the eyebags. Macam dh jadi luggage pun :p. Im googling image for poche panamera. Katanya fazura dah book. owh. lagi benci!