False alarm.

After a day of on-off bearable pain and series of blood show, seems like the baby is still comfortable inside. Another day has come and im still a pregnant lady.

Ya Allah you've set everything fair for everything. Please let everything goes on smoothly today. And to you my baby,mummy cant wait to see u syg.

I dont believe im pregnant.

Sometimes i have this feeling that i'm still in dazed; that im now hugely pregnant and am about to deliver a new life just in days now.

The expected date should be on the 25th but i just cant wait to see my baby. I hope to deliver way earlier than expected. My body just cant managed anymore i reckon. However im not sure whether im ready to do it or not. The labour i mean. and the pain of course.

My body have been having severe pain these days that i cant really sleep well at night. I cant walk fast, i mean the normal human speed like before and what i can say is all the 'urats' in by body have been ached. Like forever.

Husband will be leaving soon to Sabah in another week. And obviously that makes me feel worse. I just cant imagine how to face labour without him. Even now, i cant imagine sleeping with him without at night.

Perhaps this will make me stronger since i have few more months separating from him before i return back to Beaufort. im just hoping he will do fine overthere alone.

Dear you.

This maybe the final letter for you until after you are born.

You have been moving a lot few months back that you sometimes made me difficult to sleep and sometimes woke me up. It's a tingling sensation everytime you move inside me because i know that you are there and Gosh, you are Alive!! haha. When you move and make my belly goes here and there, it always amaze me. How can you live inside there. Subhanallah God's creation. 

This last few weeks, your movement is lesser than before. And knowing that was because you are bigger now and you've grown so much, i feel so blessed. I know that you are there, inside me, doing slight movement from time to time just waiting to be out. 

It doesn't always easy with you sayang. i've been having serious pain and cramp at every corner of my joints and parts these days. When i sit down, it's difficult for me to get up and vice versa. Your unties have to be so patience with me that i've been ordered them to do this and that due to my difficulties to move. When i lay down, it's unbearable to just turn to the left or right.

My feet and hand have been swollen so bad that my marriage ring can only be wore until the nail haha. i've been feeling so numb for both hand and now i have to buy soft ball to do hand exercise. Sometimes i can't even feel my fingers. Sometimes the twinge to my hand is intolerable. I cant even brush my teeth, or hold spoon for more than 10 seconds. It hurts. Really.

And worst of all, every step i take is now killing my heel!!! Arghhh.

But whatever is happening to me now, i know it's for you sayang. And it's all will be over once you are born. Few more weeks to go. Daddy and mummy can't wait to see you and how will look like. ;)

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah segala nya. Amin.

Photoshoot 7 months.

im very excited that i finally got my copy of the latest book by Sophie Kinsela. Been dreaming of the books since i returned from umrah and caught my eye at the bookstore di KLIA. But at that time, i was not in budget, so kene sangat bersabar. Just imagine how i felt that time!

Those who a big fan of her should grab it too. Happy reading!

Balloon.

Ok first i must admit that this new layout or timeline or whatever they call for blogger makes me dizzy. As well as the fb new timeline. Still cant get my head thru it.

Hopefully by time it will become easier.

I've just cleaned the toilets, not the spring clean but only sweeping the floor of water. And i sprained my waist. Owh my.. since when that my body becomes so manja. Baru je sapu air, belum lagi berus lantai. The husband was asking me to stop and let him do it later, but me just being me, i cant let something (dirt) pass in front of my eyes without trying to clear it. Pagi tadi dah lewat to school but i still managed to spring clean the sink in our toilet. Well, the husband didnt know it since after he got home from work this evening. :p

I've been feeling so fatigue and short of breath these days that i woke up every morning wishing that im a housewife. haha. It's not easy for me to move like i used to before and i even have to be pulled up time nak bangun dari katil or the couch while watching the tv. Im thanking God for the transfer that i got earlier this year. i can be with the husband and he really is a saviour. Sometimes i felt so bad asking him to do this and that while im just lying there (like a fat whale) in front of the tv being lavish by him.

My current weight is over-exceeding and i cant deny that its going to reach angka '7' in front by the time i deliver my little one. i feel bloated, huge, bulging everywhere in my body, so heavy that my weight always put the pressure on my heels. im like a ballon. just that im getting bigger.

I just cant wait for my long holiday. But a part of me dont want it because i'll be leaving my husband here alone for that time while im at the hometown for maternity leave. i cant imagine he lives alone in our house here without me to friend him. and the fact that he will need to travel 70 minutes to and fro to his school.

i know you can do it baby. and whatever happen just remember that im just a phone call away. :*  

5 months!

Well.

I changed my layout and being me, i don't know how to change the font. Especially for the blog entries. How frustrating!

Furthermore, the gap between the header and blog post is too far and i don't know how to make it close. Frust betul!!

I was hoping that this one will last for a very long time, but seeing how many 'frust' word i used here, well, im not sure.

Sofya, in answering your comment well i dont even sure what's the sex for my baby yet. i havent done the scan for that yet but im hoping it's not what you guess. haha. as for the color of the clothes, we are now buying the colors that can suit both sexes.

we'll be knowing the sexes soon i guess and will let you know.

i always love the sunset here at the Esplanade where the view is always magnificent. Masha-Allah. I purposely stood like that so you can see the small bump. It's not that small anyway. :)

i love school holiday!!!

toodles~

The 1-week holiday that i've been waiting for.

im now at the end of my 17th week of pregnancy. It's not that obvious when i wear loose blouses. Can you see any different?
i hope it's not too early to prepare.

we've decided to do some preparation for the 'coming soon'. basically we bought some clothes if we found a very good deal and have been surveying the other stuff such as baby carriers, the bottles and breast pump.

my husband was quite worried of hearing the electric breast pump which is actually somehow giving me some anxieties too. haha

i think you can guess the baby sex now.

Cant never forget the feeling.

i went for my first checkup last week and scanned the baby. it's just unbelieveable to see a liltle creature who are now almost complete inside me. the last time i scanned was on my ealier week (just kantung baby at that time) and i just cant believe that it grows so fast!!

i can see the little hands and feets moving along. its already moving!!! the doc measure the head and the tummy and everything is perfect and in place.

WOW! i will never forget the feeling. i became so excited that i laughed when i see my lil on the screen, sitting there and non-stop moving. he or she is just going to be like the mommy. very active ;).

and the doctor was smiling wide to me. i know she's enjoying that moment too.

a bit sad that the husband cant be there at the moment. i have the scanned printed photo. will probably put here someday.

im today reaching my 16th week. the tummy is not really showing yet. i still can wear my baju kurung but have to alter the hook. like usual, my appetite have been ferocious. i ate rice with complete meal 3 times a day. but now im trying to cut down 1 meal. so at night usually i will have soup or something liquidy. im trying to not eat so much at night because im having tummy cramp recently. and it's really painful.

it's 11.22 am now, am at school, not having class as Form 4's students are registering today. im now having my second breakfast with tuna sandwich before the proper lunch later.

it's still january and im here to wish all of you a happy glorious new year that i hope everyone's lives will be very much better that last years. my 2012's resolution is hoping to be back to my previous pregnant shape.

will see what is going to happen as im already gained 6.5 kilo for my 1st 4 months. haha.

till then. XOXO ;)

Counting days.

im now on my 7th week. Blimey!

the baby's progress is hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs although it looks more like paddles actually. Technically the baby is still an embryo with tail. It is now the size of blueberry.

My uterus has doubled in size the past 5 weeks and eating feels like a chore. i've been eating a LOT these days despite the nausea that i experience. Today i have nasi lemak for breakfast, nasi goreng kampung for lunch and just now i've just finished eating 2 breads. i think i may wallop a snack plate set of KFC if it's in front of me now.

well, thanks to the nausea and the queasiness that i've been having. and in my dictionary, i've deleted the word 'morning sickness' to be replaced with 'whole-day sickness'. i've been feeling like throwing out in the morning, at noon, in the evening as well as at nite. Blimey!

Enough about pregnancy stuff.

now i'm counting days to go home. it's another week time. cant wait seriously. my transfer application has been rejected. shocking no? and for the time being my dad said just stay put and we'll work on it once im home. i really want the transfer. so badly needed!

the SPM is coming soon. i havent met my students since the last 2 weeks. i always pray for them. hope that they are fully prepared since this maybe the exam that will decide on their future later on.

good luck guys. my prayer with u.

The zebra stripes.

My first CottonOn cardigan that i bought for myself. it's really comfy thank you. planning to get few more since i may need it for my outfit once my body starts to bloom.

this pictures was taken about 4 weeks ago when i came to visit my husband. that was at Kota Kinabalu International Airport. And if i knew that was the time that i started to carry you my honey, i should have been more careful. i jumped while taking one of the photos!! which i felt regret now haha.

well. you will never know that you are conceiving because the signs are not that clear. as for me, the symptoms came just after i realized i've missed the date of my period. that was the starting line when i became so moody, weariness, aches all parts and joints of the body and food cravings.

my weight doesnt show because to date it is still 48.5 kg. but the jeans that i wore in the pictures is now a bit difficult to button on. hehe.

owh honey. i still cant believe that im carrying you now.

My first letter for you.

Dear honey,

when i first look at the two lines on the test kit, my heart flip. i know this is the biggest surprise i've received my entire life. i still cant believe it. my body has been reacting wierdly- i've more cravings for food. i must always have the breakfast, full lunch and a complete dinner. all should be full meal, without fail.

i've been itchy the upper part of my body, especially the area between the navel and breast. been having a terrible pain on the shoulder and the back area. a tight cramp around the belly area that i cant laugh too loud or yawn. and the worst of all waking up every morning feeling really weak from the long sleep before like i've been doing the hard labour work all night.

owh my honey. it's all really unbearable.

and this morning when the doctor said 'that's your kantung baby, and yes you are positively pregnant!' when she showed on the screen and i saw you there. a little 2 cm oval shape, at that moment my heart flip again. i was overwhelmed with a feeling that i cant explain.

when i was cooking for your father just now, a wave of nauseous suddenly hit me that i stopped cooking straight away. i'm so hungry yet i dont feel like can swallow anything right now. the nasty nausea is still there honey.

those are all the early signs and symptoms that i feel now. and i know i must be able to get through this because you are mine. and i know you love me too.

i love you honey. and for you i will endure anything, so that you will come to our life healthily.

till then. toddles