A gift from Heaven.

Now that I have a boy on my own, I can relate to what other mothers feel when they lost a child. I read many heart wrenching stories on the internet and blogs on this child-lost tragedy. It's quite acceptable for me as a mother to lost the most precious gift due to some chronic disease such as what happenned recently that was viral on instagram.

It's not that easy to let go a child that we carried inside us for months, but instead of watching him/ her struggling with wires and needles daily to live, as for me I am more redha to let the child go. At least there's no more unbearable pain as he/ she now is at better place.

What I can't really get to grasp is when losing a child due to tragic accident or unexpected reason. Take this, one second the child is giggling in our arms the next, he/ she is in our arms; breathless. Those kinds of tragedy happened really makes me cries when reading the story from the mothers.

What if it happens to me? What is my son doing right now at the nanny? What a little time did I spend with my son a day that I will be regret later when I loose him? Should I just leave my work behind and being a SAHM that I can watch my kids on my own. Too may questions liggering inside my head.

Allahuakbar. He is the one who plans everything. And there should be lessons for us for any tragedy happens. Don't we realize that the more tests we get the more closer we become to Him. That can be just a reminder or a bell for us to return back to where we belong; to Him.

This gift from Allah is not forever. All of us belong to him. Anytime we are destined to go then that's it. I don't know how long my son or even my own life is given to me in this world, whatever it is let's just keep our faith strong and stronger because mati itu pasti.

For what I have now, my son and my little blessed family, I am more than grateful to you Allah. What ever tests that we endure right now and coming soon, let's not say Why me? Let's say Try me.

Salam and greetings.

Coxsackie virus on Muizz.

Last sunday night, Muizz temp was suddenly high. I was a bit suspicious why suddenly he got the fever, then i remembered we brought him out that evening and it was light raining at that time. Perhaps demam sebab kena hujan. He woke us that night crying outloud and once again i gave him the fever syrup. His body was feverish.

The next morning, Maktok (the babysitter) realized some red rashes behind his neck when i dropped him at her place. I dont realize about it pun, nampak sangat mummy tak aware. Dussh! Then, she said that was maybe an early symptom of chicken pox or campak.

At 10 am i went to Maktok's house to send to fever syrup that i forgot to bring in the morning and realised the rashes was severe than before. Then i started to get panic. Ive never have chicken pox before and thus i was worried i'll get it if my baby is diagnosed with it.

After picking him up in the evening we went straight to the paed for check-up. The doctor said it was not chicken pox (pheww..) but it is HFMD- Penyakit kaki tangan dan mulut.

Then i remembered last month, my neighbour advised me not to bring Muizz out that much because the Coxsackie virus is attacking the kids around my area. But, its month away and now my son have it. I dont know where my son got the virus because usually those who stays in nursery which have other children will easily get it. But my son stays alone at maktok. Perhaps the virus goes through the air too.

Then i went home and googled. This is where you can read about it. Here and here. 

Apparently its not serious. But, what i concern most is it gives severe ulcers in the mouth and throat which makes difficult to swallow.

It was the first night last night and Muizz woke up two times for 2 hours to cry. I realized he was hungry, but he refused to drink his milk. He kept on crying and crying perhaps due to the sore throat. I tried to feed him through straw and he did drink a few but that's it. At 3 am, my husband went to the kitchen to take a bun bread and feed him. He was so hungry i realised that he ate half of the bun. Pity my boy. 

He was unable to control his saliva and it kept running out from his mouth. Last night, he finally slept in his cries, exhausted of crying, although he was hungry. ;(

This was yesterday, hoping that it will get better today. Its so sad to watch him uncomfortable of himself and i am in the helpless position to help him. We can do this together baby.

Of being grateful to the One.

ive been so sensitive these days to hear grave stories about mothers who lost their child since i am a mummy myself. Their stories are just so close to me as i can imagine what actually they are facing everyday, in fact every second of their life.

For once, we are able to kiss and cuddle, hug and touch our baby but in a blink he's gone. Untouchable. Unreachable. There are times in my working hours that i felt so alone that i miss my baby so much. Feel like going to the babysitter's house, hug him and smoodge smooge him then back to school. But in my case, he is reachable. How about the mothers out there who lost their child unexpectedly, what i imagine is half of the soul is gone too.

I cried my heart out reading this story . Thought i should forward it here. As a guidance. As a reminder that anything can happen as He wants it. He lends something to us, but in no time He can get it back. 

For the last 13 months in my beautiful life, i cant never thank You enough Ya Allah. Please guide me and my family to the right path as You've been showering us with so much love i cant never thank for.

Alhamdulillah. 

Away.

i had to go for a three days two nights course last week in Subang. If you are a mother, living on your own without any family members around, you will know how i felt the first time i heard the news. At that time, Muizz was the only vital person that i can think of.

After so much discussion with the husband, i decided to go for the course. My husband's school has limited phone connection, so we were basically texting each other to discuss. I have to decide in quick, because apparently i will board the flight the next day and the office needs to book the flight tics for me. I was overwhelm at that time- of leaving Muizz with strangers or go on with the task assigned.

The whole time i was texting with my husband, his only concern was only Muizz. Ive never been apart from him since he was born. He slept with me and only me since then. Can he sleep with other people- since i realizes that my husband was not confident to take care of Muizz on his own.

I called the babysitter and expectedly, she said 'Okay!'. Then im relieved.

What i was expecting from my husband as we were texting was ' Can someone else replace me?'. But he never asked that question. Perhaps he knew how excited i was to get to go for a course because im never been in one since ive started working. He is so understanding that im so glad that i have him as my husband. 

Then off i went for the course. And on that first day, i kept calling and texting the babysitter to ask about Muizz well-being till i reckoned she was rimas with me. Haha. But she is a good girl i tell you because of her patience to deal with a freak-out-left her son with stranger- for 3 days mummy.

 Before i left him for 3 days.

In short, the 3 days im away was in a way a good thing for both of us. Muizz was behaving well the whole time im not with him. Sleeping at night also was not a problem. From that i realized that my boy perhaps someone who can adjust with surrounding. He knew that mummy was not around, so he bevahed like an angle.

As for me, i got 2 nights off without disturbance from little hands as well as big hands (haha), but sadly, i wasn't sleeping so well either. I kept waking up those 2 nights, thinking how my baby is doing.  And once i touched down in KK, the only things im eager to is meeting my baby boy.

Im glad that we both survived this separation in a good way.

What a good surprise to meet a familiar face in that course and surprise or not, we were roomate!!!

A new start.

We've moved in to the new house after the CNY break and so far im so happy with the new place. It is so huge (for the 3 of us), babyfriendly and clean! Thats the most important things as for me before i enter a new house. It is a small taman, so the traffic is not like the previous taman. The taman have only two row of houses and they are facing each other with no road at the end of the alley. So i guess there should be no strangers car unless for only the tenants.

I can see that my boys are also very comfortable with the house.

Muizz got to crawl happily and when we put him into the walker, he'll slide joyfully exploring one room to the other. And i tell you, my boy is so good manouvering his own car, going in and out from the room doors without slamming into one. Im a proud mummy. heee..

As for my husband, he got a full room to put his things as he called it 'Abi's place'. He has sorted out the room yesterday and i think it looks nice. Everything was out of their boxes and placed on the tables that we recently bought. Now his gadgets are safe  and sound. ;)

In terms of new purchase for the house, we've only bought two 4-foot size folding tables and a cabinett with doors. i m happy with the cabinett as now i have place to put all my tupperware! What we plan to buy after this is another folding table for the kitchen, two bamboo mats, a rechargable lamp for blackout. We had 20 minutes blackout last night and Muizz was crying so loud that i think the whole neighbourhood can hear har har.

Well i guess pictures can tell more about our new home. Here are some photos from my ig.

The 298 at Taman Panglima. My first home with husband. Our precious tiny abode where i experienced bittersweet memories and life lessons which i may not get elsewhere. You are forever will have a special place in my heart.

May Allah ease our life journey in the new place and as for the better, we pray that the next move we have is to peninsular, hopefully by the end of this year. Lets pray together. ;)

Final.

These few weeks i have been thinking of ONE thing to do which i realize can change my whole life altogether. Whether it's for good or bad, let's time decides it.

i've made the decision and im keeping on it. It's a big step as some people may say because who are we to go against God's plan? But, its final. And i hope it's for good cause.

Pray for me folks.

Will update more soon.

What a night.

i think the whole Sabah experienced what i have last night. It happened exactly at 3.20 am, just right before my alarm sounded. I was planning to wake up for sahur this morning when suddenly everything became dark. Really dark. And then i can feel the heat. and i started to perspire profusely.

i waited in the dark for the electricity to come back. And its not. My husband finally woke up because it's too hot!!! OMG. He woke up to find the candle and of course he cant find it since im the one who keeps everything in the house-in order. i was still lying down, waiting for miracle to happen. 

'Please Ya Allah. i really can't stand the heat. Furthermore, i want to have my sahur..'

But obviously no miracle happened.

I reluctantly woke up and lit up the candle. And i cant get myself to sleep anymore. And with the mosquito. i never realized there's any mosquito in the house before until last night. My husband was dozing off on and off. He knew i cant sleep because of the heat. It happened to me when im entering my 3rd semester. I get sweat easily dan badan selalu rasa panas. Sangat panas, until berpeluh smpai basah baju. And i always told my husband 'Kalaula berpeluh gini, i jadi kurus kan best. Ni dak. Makin kembang ada..' He just smiled and said ' tak gemok la.. u kan pregnant..'

Owh. Well said. What do you expect a husband to say to the wife who constantly-everyday- saying and whining that she's becoming fatter and fatter. i lost my shape already!

Well no miracle happened until this morning. i was informed that perhaps the whole Sabah have no electricity last night.

Since im small, i think this is my first experience of having no fan and no lamp up until morning and i cant even shut my eyes even a little. And i wonder what will happen if after i get this little one and this happens again. Owh my. Please dont.

There's more to it.

There are phases in life that we wish it didn't happen such as putus cinta, lost the loved ones, fail in exams, dreams don't come true etc. They are such events in life that we call iincident which always means BAD. Seriously, who wants to be in a risky relationship that you know sooner or later you may loose it- the one you love. Perhaps many people have experienced it where you are really in love with that guy and suddenly he pulled the rope out. OMG, seriously the feelings are unbearable. You are still in love with him, feel closely attached to him in all other ways (you know when girls fall in love); suddenly he says he's not in love with you anymore.

Yup. Guys have the tendency to do that. I don't know of woman. Anyone have did this to anyone?

And at this phase of life you feel so lost, so alone, so miserable, so out of place. Everything you do is not right. And the person who supposed to be your lover have abandoned you- away. And you can't reach him or anything in between.

And you started to blame the Almighty of why this miserable things happen to you. Why the happiness doesn't last long, i mean forever. Why does your dream plan doesn't come true. Why?

You completely forgot the fact that you have been in ectasy happiness for the whole time you've been in love with that person. You have been so completely problem-less when all your plans go exactly you want. And at that time you forgot to be thankful to Him of that. You forget all the good things that happen to you for perhaps 23 years of your life; because once you putus cinta at the age of 24, you said He doesn't love you.

Have you ever ponder what did you do wrong before. Maybe in the relationship you have hold hands with the boyfie or girlfie. Or maybe more. Who knows?

And as for me, i've been so completely miserable all this while i've been away from my husband. It is misery yup. But once i encountered God di tikar sejadah, i started to feel calm. Husband has helped me a lot. We've been on the phone a lot, and go to and fro- imagine how much we spend on this.

I or the husband may did things that upset Him before that He tests us on this now. Realization it is.

Looking around me, i've seen much more complicated things happen. And i wonder why they still contue it when they know and realize there's no future for the dream- the so-called relationship. Don't continue the relatinship if you know there's no way you are gonna be with that person, sooner or later.

Baik menangis meraung sekarang daripada meraung 2 atau 3 tahun lagi. Because the effect is the same. Trus me. There's more to it when we don't get exactly what we want. We may get better.

Trust me.

Takwim.

Actually i am writing a post about my birthday celebration. but im still collecting the picas, so it might be up soon lah. the birthday this year was celebrated with my husband. he delayed his flight for another day so he can celebrate with me. actually i did. :p

it was just a small celebration. we ate cakes though.

regarding the wishes that i wrote before, i got it. i mean some of it. when you have a husband and newly wed, anything you wish you will get it. haha. surprisingly, i also got the un-wishing birthday present! lucky me yes.

........

my husband did a takwin last night. to mark our journey to-forth. so far we have marked the calendar until the end of october. and most of the flights are now confirmed. a lot of money spent for this. yes indeed.

dugaan.

........

im looking for books to read for pregnant mother. i really need help from those who have experience this. please. i need to know about this. because i may be pregnant sooner or later.

just for my knowledge. im not carrying 'anything' in me yet.

........

"communicating effectively in spoken english in selected social context."

1500 - 3000 words. wish me luck babes.

........

im going to kk tomorrow.

:D

It's true.

indeed it's true when you always think about the pain in your life, the pain will control you. you will feel more pain and tend to forget the brighter things (nikmat) that you have.

i think so much sometimes. i always tried to control my thinking to not think of the pain, and only certain times i can forget it. due to that im not able to sleep at night. i shouldn't have thought i know. the sharp pain on the chest, you feel like something clenching your heart, it's very heavy. and i sometimes cried to sleep.

think positive. that's what i always said to myself. jgn bersangka buruk, jgn fikir yang bukan2. ada hikmah di sebalik semua yang berlaku. Allah masih sayang kan aku to bring back to His path because i've been to obsessed with the world matter.

i qoute this from jaime's blog:

"jika seseorang dapat memahami dan menghayati takdir Allah SWT untuknya, maka dia akan merasa sabar dan lapang dada dalam menjalani kesulitan hidup, juga tidak bersedih dan kecewa ketika ditimpa musibah. lebih dari itu dia akan merasakan besarnya kasih sayang Allah SWT kepadanya, juga bergembira dengan pahala besar yang akan diterimanya kelak."

that is exactly what i'm trying to be. sabar dan lapang dada. i maybe stronger today and i know i need a lot more motivations to stay up and awake.

tq so much for jaime. it's such a good and beautiful words you put there. and fyi, aku baca sume entry dalam blog mu since 2010.

and now im enjoying a big bowl of cornflakes and milk in the evening. reminding me of beautiful times whan i was in Nz few years back. ;)

You wanna heard news?

It just that last night i discovered that i have 32 tudungs and 48 selendangs!! OmG. Just calculate how many $$$ have i spent for that? and shockingly i have few which actually the same and i did not realize it? Oh my... Semalam i had to rearrange them because the twin tower of tudung and selendang almost runtuh. Tudung express (the one with awning) is not yet included in the calculation. Bear that in mind. :p

Talking about my work attire which obviously baju kurung or kebaya dan yang sewaktu dengannya; my two doors cupboard is now bursting with them. Oh my... Calculate again how many $$$ i spent for the kain itself and the upah jahit.

Patut lah semakin banyak gaji semakin rasa tidak cukup. ha ha.

Being rational myself, for this year i've only bought and sewn 2 baju kurungs. For 2 months and half this was quite an achievement. Money is now put aside for one and only important matter. I didn't plan it to be this soon, however seeing that it's happening really soon i have to stop myself, my desire from buying and shopping-ing sesuka hati.

I never imagine that this matter is taking a very large sum of money??? Oh my.. tak perlulah berteka-teki lagi. The cat is out of the bag already. I am getting married this year. YEAY YEAY!!!

Calculating the savings and the money in hand now (plus parents' welfare haha no doubt) i think we will manage to make it a success. Our plan is not that grand by the way. This coming month is renewing-car-insurance-month. Talking about car could really 'eat up' your $$$; as you said tasha.

Btw i know deep down that everything is going to be fine.

Fine. Yes. Really fine.

10 Alasan terburuk untuk berkahwin.

i read this in Mingguan Wanita 19-25 November 2010.

1- Terlanjur. (Nasi sudah menjadi bubur...)

2- Rapat dengan keluarganya. (Kalau dah hari2 pegi umah dia, bukan ke jadi cam adik-beradik. ish, nak ke kawin?)

3- Ikut rakan. (Cane ni.. sume kawan dh kawin ni. malu nye tak kawin2 lagi..)

4- Mahu penuhi impian keluarga. (erk? kita nak kawin ke mak ayah kita?)

5- Terlalu kerap bersama @ berdua-duaan. (ni bahay ooo..)

6- Dia cantik/ Hensem. (tet!)

7- Langkah baru dalam hidup sebab hidup dah sempurna. (ni biasanya kes pilot yang amat hensem. duit terlampau lebih dah. hidup sangat berjaya kan...)

8- Didesak. (kadang-kadang susah nak deny bila SEMUA orang di sekeliling mendesak. kan?)

9- Ditangkap khalwat. (ouch ouch. Sapa suruh cari pasal?)

10- Terhutang budi. (Terjual body. :p)

So, to all my friends yang seangkatan, let's reflect and think back what's the best that we have in our single life. find our strength and let's focus on it because we don't have 2 times single life!!

i quoted from Boy Meets Girl by Meg Cabot:

"...you have to find where YOU as individual, not Mr. Whoever You Marry, fits into the world..."

Muhasabah diri. Ask Allah and seek His guidance of what's the best for us because He absolutely has the answer.

footnote: bila dah umur mencapai suku abad, memang agak tertekan bila sedara-mara asyik bertanya soalan yang sama. habis idea dah nak ignore! :p

TQ for reading this entry. Assalamualaikum.

Sedekah di Bulan Ramadhan.

Hari ini sudah hari ke 14 berpuasa. Alhamdulillah. Belum lagi rongak puasa saya. Tapi dengan tak malu nya jugak mengaku sudah rongak terawikh. Adoi. Ini memang salah sendiri. Mengaku. Biasa lah, walaupun syaitan di ikat, tetapi M huruf besar bermaharajalela di dalam diri bila perut sudah penuh terisi.

Macam semalam, selepas magrib terus terlelap. Terbangun untuk Isya' alhamdulillah. Itupun sebab berpeluh kepanasan. Begini lah situasinya bila tinggal sendiri. Kalau bersama family mesti takde can nak skip terawikh. hihi.

2 malam lepas, saya dan housemate ke terawikh. Dan betapa alhamdulillah rajin sket kami malam itu, membuat keputusan untuk buat 20. Selepas 8, jemaah mula berpusu-pusu keluar meninggalkan masjid. Pastu hujan turun. Kami meneruskan sehingga habis. Masa tu hanya tinggal 6 orang jemaah wanita. Alhamdulillah. Saya antara yang ber-6 itu.

Alkisahnya, keluar dari masjid, cari selipar tak ada. Memang dah rezeki orang yang ambil tu kut nak dapat selipar Jepun Giant. Semalam kan tak pergi masjid. Orang kata kalau selipar hilang, pergi esoknya, Insya-Allah orang yang ambil tu ahntar balik. Dia tak curi, pinjam je. hehe

Takpe lah. Saya sedekah je lah.

Selalunya orang sedekah duit. Tapi kali ni saya dengan rela hati sedekahkan selipar saya itu.

Ramadhan tahun ini.

hari ini, di saat ini rasa sangat letih.

after 6 periods of teaching i feel really exhausted. really really exhausted. i've never felt like this before. mungkin last week, tidak mengajar because the students were having examination. today the classes were only about discussion on the exam paper. basically i'm the one who did all the talking lah. what a NO NO right. and being so peculiarly rajin, i've successfully marked the students' paper last week.

wah. what a rajin girl kan.

since we started fasting, i've never break fast outside. ok. pathetic? yes. staying in twu, you don't feel excited to break fast. just sekadar makan untuk kenyang untuk puasa pulak the next day. you don't even feel excited to visit ramadhan bazar to buy food. because actualy they don't have any. i am being judgemental here. but that is the truth.

tanya hana.

kami pernah ke bazar dan pulang tangan kosong. hanya beli air kelapa sahaja. sahaja?

we cooked the rice at home, since we already have a brand new panasonic rice cooker. then, we went out to hunt for lauk. we don't cook because we still don't have freezer to keep the stuff.

i remembered when i was at home, or in ipba before, you will think or dream of what you want to have for the juadah berbuka and then excitedly and eagerly keluar mencarinya di bazar. which is basically di bazar ada segala mak nenek jenis makanan.

but here, we will go to the kedai or restaurant, and choose among the lauks that we feel like eating. memang tak ada peluang untuk bermimpi "rasa nk makan apa ye today..?"

sedih. tapi tetap bersyukur.

hilang sekejap penat ku. kepala pun dah kurang pusing.

petang ni, plan nk bukak puasa di luar. mahu jugak merasa bukak puasa di kedai kan. pilihannya? maybe Wakaf Thai.

off-topic. rasanya the not-so-brand-new PM is still in twu today.

haven't seen him yet tho. (haha. macam org penting)

sekarang masih lagi menghitung hari. owh. 18 september. cepat lah. dan lambat lah 26 september.

amin.

The before.

this entry is fulled of picas. (perhaps not on your interest).

the packing.

these are shoes only!

the luggage-s and the giant one.

the process of cleaning.

you can see my j parked outside. homely. heh.

the kitchen.

the hall.

and this is my room!

the unpack thingy.

the whole process was very exhausting. it's just the two of us cleaning the whole house. rumah itu sangat lah kotor dan bersemak. grill pintu and window pun tade lagi. elektrik and air is in. but, the saddest part was lampu and kipas sume tade lagi. (uhuk) bleh start menangis sekarang.

by the night comes, some neighbours (yang sangat baik hati) menolong kami menyalakan 2 lampu.

and finally we can sleep jugak. walaupun tak la lelap sangat.


notice the familiar figure of my new housemate? yes. it is hanna babe!

H1N1 alert.

doktor bedah dah bersedia nak masuk bilik bedah okkay~!

happy quiet weekend u'olls~

footnote: it's been 2 cases from my school. this weekend i planned to have a quiet one, sebab duduk rumah lagi selamat. :)

I am not good with strangers.

there are times when i feel like don't want to talk to anyone including the people that i know.

situation 1
i was on a flight from kl to twu recently. a guy was sitting next to me at the window seat. as soon as i fastened my seatbelt i reached for my book and started to read. as the flight embarked, no one sat beside me (the aisle seat). so basically, only 2 of us were sitting on the 3 seats. i was sitting on the middle seat.

and he opened his mouth.

"tinggal di sana ke belajar?"
"ehm. kerja." (back to my reading)

"oo. kerja apa?"
"ehm. cikgu" (back to my reading)

"oo. orang semenanjung ke orang sana?"
"ehm... semenanjung." (cant you see i am not interested to talk?)

"oo. lama dah di sana? best tak duk sana? ok ke sabah. ni kali pertama saya ke sana."
" ehm. ok je. sama ngn semenanjung." (please. no more after this)

then, he might get the point that i don't want to continue this small talk. then, after a while, before he opened his mouth again, i stood up and went to the toilet. just to wash my hands. after i got back, i sat on the aisle seat. so the middle seat was now empty. and obviously, he wouldn't try to talk to me again.

situation 2
i went to a carwash one evening. there were 3 cars including mine. one makcik and one brother was waiting for their cars. then, i walk to the waiting area and sat a bit far from them. the makcik was sitting in the middle. of me and the brother.

and she opened her mouth.

"bagus kan kat sini. cepat. pernah ndak pegi basuh di XYZ carwash kat bandar sana?"

the brother looked at me hoping that i will respond to the makcik. i didn't look at him. i just played with my keys. looking no where.

then, the brother responded.

"kat mana tu?"

"dekat jalan PQRS. ramai orang basuh di sana. saya pun selalu basuh di sana. tapi lambat sangat. orang ramai.."
"owh.. ye ke. tak pernah pulak saya ke sana."

she continued.
" saya selalu basuh kat sana. pekerja dia ramai. tapi lama nk kene tunggu. kalau nak cepat memang x boleh la.."
"owh.. ya ka.."

she continued lagi.
" harga sama je dengan sini. tapi beratur panjang lah. ye lah. tempat bagus kan. semua pun nak pergi"
"boleh la pegi jugak nanti. cuba kt sana plak"

she continued. lagi.
"tinggal kat mana?"
"taman ABC."

and bla bla bla bla.

i just sat there. playing with my keys hoping that my car will be the 1st to finish.

................................................

i am just not good with strangers. everytime i travelled alone, by bus or plane, i will pray that the person sitting next to me is also my type- doesn't like to talk to strangers.

i think i am a good daughter. because when i was a kid, my mother used to say- do not talk to strangers. and i do. till now.

i really hate strangers who love to talk.

so, keep the distance please. because i don't know you.

Aduh. sakitnya!

pagi tadi aku menyertai acara kemuncak bagi SOT ke-11. iaitu acara 8 x 50 M acara guru dan kakitangan.

i was the last runner and guess what? i pecut-ed so fast and overtook the woman who ran in front of me. dengan sorakan satu stadium, aku berjaya menghabiskan larian di tempat pertama!!!

and diving on the track!!!

imagine what i feel. gile sakit and obviously, malu bah... depan sume students and teachers.

seb baik menang.

luka lutut ku. ouch! sampai sekarang berdenyut-denyut lagi.

The call.

it is a very sharp pain down there starting since yesterday afternoon. i cant even sleep well last night. this is not the severity or mild annoyance but this is very severe pain. that interferes my normal activities.

it is monthly call but never it happened during school days. maybe im not this lucky this month.

how can i enter the class with this pain?

this is perhaps a real challenge for a career woman to endure once a month. the one that you can't escape from.

I'm off this afternoon.

since the school started (after the 2 weeks break) there's always activities in the evening. setiap hari petang2 ke sekolah.

and finally, today is the day.

but tomorrow and tomorrow the day will be the same as yesterday. again.

do not sigh.

but have a good rest this evening.