My baby is growing.

Its been a year of ups and downs for me as a mum. Staying on our own without any family members close by does help to teach me a real meaning of parenthood. im basically dealing with parenthood problem on my own. i mean with the help of my husband. The experiences, memories, they are all good that i cant never describe it.

My baby is now 13 months. In a blink! Yes, thats what i felt. He grows up from a helpless just lying on the bed baby to now a walking baby. He now learns that walking frees his hands from mummy and for that reason it also drives me crazy. There's never a second that i fear he may fall over, bump his head on the floor or any angle of the home furniture etc etc but at the same time i realize i have to give him full chance for him to discover.   

He is such a clingy and sensitive baby. He cries when i raise my voice (for whatever reason pun), he refused to be with anyone else except for mummy, abi and maktok. Maktok is his babysitter and i think he has associated maktok as his grandmother. i brought him to school almost every morning since he was 3 months old, but until now refuses to be carried by any of my friends. He only wants mummy. When we went back hometown last June for two weeks, he cried almost everyday because my family members (strangers for him) tried to carry him or even touch him. Muizz was untouchable. 

He slept with me every night, cuddling me like im his teddybear, sometimes he climbs on me to sleep. Yes, giving no chance at all to abi ha ha. Thus, no new babies in the recent year i guess. :p

Happy 13th months Muizz Abyan. Mummy and abi love you to the moon and back!

Immediate transfer.

The result of eg-tukar for June 2013 will cime out in days i guess. The possibility for me and the husband to get the transfer is very slim.

Last few days, my school received a letter which offers teachers to be lecturers in the chosen ILP. Basically they have one in each state. And the job will start immediately as July. This is a immediate transfer and reading through the letter, they sound like they are desperately want those teachers.

Among the ILP on the list is one from Marang Terengganu. Then im torn.

I really want to be close to my family after years of being away eversince i left home after SPM. I saw this is like a great opportunity. They really need those teachers and will be tranferred immediately.

When i ask my husband, the only concern he has is he might not be able to see Muizz everyday if i got tranferred! Hey, what about me? Don't you miss me at all?? (Rolling eyes)

Then i realized about the working time and the holiday will be different to the normal school. I might not be able to spend the holiday with my husband and my future children because we have diferrent takwim. Hmmmph. If i go with this i might get it and later realized this is not actually what i really want.

So, family comes first as Dr Muhaya said. This might be the last opportunity for me to get immediate transfer. But im gonna be patience and continue filling the eg-tukar forms each time it comes, praying that hopefully at the end of the day both me and the husband gonna get the transfer.

I hope im making a good decision this time.

Hiatus.

This blog has been abandoned for quite a time. Ive been thinking of updating some of highlighted events happened in my life but i kept on delaying till i felt they are not relevant anymore.

Ive been active on Instagram these days. You know browsing through people's pictures is fun and somehow it helps to kill the boredom at work too. Im not that busy at work pun. In fact i have ample free time that i can (actually) take care of my own boy without sending him to babysitter.

I miss blog and blogging, thus this entry come up. I will try to update frequently after this. I hope i will find the writing mood back to share here. As the appetizer, the recent photo of my baby boy who is not a baby anymore.

He is now a big boy that he doesn't need mummy to put him to sleep at night anymore. Tskk tsssk..

Of moving house.

Last year when my family came here for a visit, i realized how small our house is actually. It was not comfortable i know but knowing my family they are just dont bother. We're just so close with each other that we didnt mind bumping each other on the way to the toilet, bumping each other's butts in the kitchen (my kitchen only fits one adult); they even cant strech hands so much, afraid that it will poke somebody's head har har har. 

The good things about the house, firstly is the price. I can say it is the cheapest house rent in that taman which is rm450 a month. Secondly is the tuan rumah. They were the kindest landlord we ever knew. Last year's raya they invited us to their house for a feast. We were so berat hati that we gave excuse ' we dont know their house and we dont really know roads and places here'. Surprisedly, the wife insisted and said ' its ok, we'll come here to pick you up and show the way'. When we arrived at their house, then we realized we are the only guest that day. And they cooked many raya food for us. -____-. Im touched. 

After my family returned home, my husband and i went ronda-ronda around Beaufort to find another house to rent. A bigger house. But we're still berat hati because we dont know how to tell the landlord. We were not serious that time and we met no avalaible house. 

Yesterday, when i arrived home from school in the evening, my husband said that the landlord called him and advised us to find for a new house because they want to renovate the house for their daughter. But, she didnt really push us about this and told us to take our time to find a new house.Hmmm. It was shocking but on the other hand i felt relief because we finally are serious to find another house, a bigger house. =)

It was already late, but because i cant control my excitement to find another house, after praying asar, off we went ronda-ronda around Beaufort. It was 5.15pm when we left home, and we've got less that 1 hour before maghrib and day becomes night.

There are 2 new tamans here that we aimed for. There was no rent house advertisement at Taman Eramas, double-storey house. Only houses for sale and only few tenants moved in there. So, we rushed off to the second taman which we dont know what is the name. The house is modern, sleek dohble-storey house. A very beautiful house for me. The roof is flat. I mean they do not use roof yang macam rumah biasa. 

We found a house written 'For rent call 016- xxx'. We called the number quickly to ask about the condition, the water and electricity status as well as negotiate the price. The person said the rent is rm1200  month. Oh my. I requested for rm900 and he said he will think about it. Perhaps we can see the house on wednesday or thursday, because the owner lives in KK. That is one choice. 

Then we drove off to the nearby taman, which is Taman Foh Sang. The houses there is single-storey, much bigger than our current house and i knew that the houses are still knew. They were first resided in 2011. As we drove through we can see few houses that are still empty. Then, i knew this is maybe our luck. I asked my husband to stop tepi jalan to ask the lady who was cleaning her rubbish bin in front of her house. 

Surprise surprise she said the house in front of her house will be empty in february. The tenant will move out to another taman. Yeay!!! So we got the phone number of the owner and terus called. When i told the owner that we are both teahers, he immediately said 'i'll give you the house key after the tenant move ok'. The best thing of being teachers. People have trust on you. 

So now we have two options.

 It was an easy evening for us. Alhamdulillah. Allah knows the best and he listens to what our heart want. Then, after we arrived home, our landlord called saying that we perhaps dont need to move house because she was thinking of buying new house for her daughter. We can stay at that house. 

Hmmm now three options. 

But ive made my mind that i want to move to a bigger house. We dont know how many years still we will stay here because every time we applied we got rejected. And for our comfort and perhaps our family will come to visit us, so we better move out from the current house. We'll make our decision after we look through both houses.

 im so excited!!

Been waiting for next week.

Ive been waiting for 8th dec since forever. The day that we' ll finally flying hometown. Being at work while others are already enjoying their holiday is not fun.

Husband pun dah penat dengar my ramblings about 'still working while we should have gone back' almost everyday.

Basically, every school day i go to work not to work. Because we have no classes anymore. Students are having 2nd semester's examination. During their free day, they will not be at school. Semua balik kampung- buat cuti sendiri. So i dont know what's the point of us, the cikgus go to school. Hmmm.

8th Dec also marks the 2 years i got to know my husband. The day he first called me and we set plan to meet. We kamikazed decided to get married after the first meeting And less than 6 months after, i'm a wife to him. Unpredictable really when you've found the one. Now, we have a charming little boy together and i cant imagine my life without my two boys everyday.

My little boy will turn 6mo on the same date as well. It means, its time for solid! Im really excited and i know Muizz also hype about this. We can clearly see nowadays he loves to watch us eating which sometimes rasa kesian sgt. Geram je mau suap jugak.  Now im collecting all the infos and recipes of what can i feed him once the time comes.

My siblings and in laws are all counting days to meet my little ones which is not so little i think. During the last 5 mo checkup his weight is 8.7 kg and 67.5 cm tall. The nurse said he's a tall baby. I wonder where he got the gene from.

Till then. Salam.

The getaway.

We'll spend a night here tonight. 

My baby is already sleeping and now i can write :). Husband went out with my brother for a late-night movie. The initial plan is i go with them but Muizz seems a bit upset after a long day on the road, been here and there shopping and sight seeing, so better that i stay.

My parent with three of my siblings are here for four days. And today we drove here and stay a night. Will go back Beaufort tomorrow. Muizz is very happy and excited with my family around. Before this senyap je rumah, bila dah ramai and riuh suka sangat lah die. 

Do i look happy, because i do!

Wordless Wednesday: Morning routine.

My boy's getting bigger and heavier.

It's that time again.

After sahur this morning, terus kejut Muizz, bathed him and bersiap-siap to the airport. It's that time again that ayah is going to the Holy Land Makkah for umrah. Ayah has never failed to visit Makkah during ramadan. Maybe he feels incomplete without it. He started to go there with mak and now he's going alone. It was worried at first to let him go alone, because he's on medication for high blood pressure. But these few years, macam sudah biasa.

Ayah's flight is at 9 am, so we left home at about 6.45. Muizz behaved well in car; sleeping,  but once i stepped out from car, he woke up and started to cry. Oh my! He refused to feed from bottle that i have to breastfeed him directly. He opened his mouth, started sucking terus pejam mata. Betapa die ngantuk. Tapi nak jugak nangis kuat-kuat kejutkan semua orang at the airport.

The same thing happened at Mydin. sigh*. So i have to stay in the car all the way today while everyone else went out shopping. sigh again*.

Im wearing 3-tone bawal tudung that is hot and in these days. Looking at the price on the blogshops macam tak berbaloi je. Furthermore, they are always sold out. Then one day my sister went out Jerteh and buy the tudung. And the price is RM8.50!!!

Berbaloi-baloi.

.............................................

After much discussion with husband, we decided to get a stroller for our baby. Like finally. I've always love stroller with 3 wheels. So after Mydin, we off to Manjaku near Tesco to get one. While my baby is sleeping fitfully in car, i left him with mak, cepat-cepat masuk Manjaku. 

Since that my husband is away dan tak dapat dihubungi (he was in school and his school area takda line telefon), so i have to timbang sendiri what to buy and finally this is what i bought:

It's kind of pricey for me, but thinking of this can be used for Muizz and adik-adiknya (InsyaAllah), without much hesitation terus ke cashier and pay. Hopefully this will be useful. Now we left with one pending shopping item which is carseat. 

It was quite a day for me. With small baby, a long journey, staying in car, feeding my baby non-stop and  fasting but Alhamdulillah i managed to stroke one item from the shopping list. ;). Tujuan hari ini tercapai yeay!

Praying that ayah's journey is blessed, pergi and pulang dengan sihat walafiat. I know you dont read this but we love you so much ayah. Take care.

Dating.

Deal sealed. She left her 3 soldiers at home and i left my big boy too. We met here. There's a lot to be talked about. I miss old days with her, and the time.


Forever babe. Forever. Insya-Allah.

Welcome to the real world.

Introducing the latest edition on CHCH clan. Has been born on the 23rd Dec 2011. It's not mine btw. My sister delivered this baby less than 2 hours struggling in the labour room. She has been feeling the first contraction at 3 am on that day and walked into labour room at 8.30 pm. At about 9.45 pm she delivered her baby. What an easy journey for her. i wish mine will be as easy as her too.

Like the first one, she delivered him on the 38th weeks of pregnancy. Her EDD is on early January 2012. I thankful that she delivered early so that our children will not be on the same year. ;)

And despite the pink blanket and red pillow cover, no you are wrong, the baby is a boy. The second boy for my sister's family and the 2nd grand-boy for mak and ayah.

The little cheeky monster at home who is now an 'abang'. Have been everyone's little munchkin whom being loved by everyone. Now you have a challenger!

Recently, he accidentally broke ayah's 42 inch Samsung plasma tv at home which had been bought only a year, and Toki dan Nenek tak marah pun! What a wonder. Kalaulah orang lain yang buat...

The recent me; keletihan after rounds of walking (shopping) around Legend Island, Langkawi. Twas last week. Can you see my tummy?

Time for lunch! Toddles~

The usual trip.

Ayah's flight to madinah was at 3pm. He will be there until 27th August and will be home on the 28th. It was a usual trip for him since he never miss going umrah since i don't really sure perhaps when i was 14 years old.

This time ayah pergi sendiri- bukan dengan travel agent or any package offered in the market. Semua diuruskan sendiri. His hotels and food overthere was managed by his friend who is already there. So, when i asked him on the phone this morning, "Bila ayah pergi Mekah?"His answer was, "Tak tahu lagi. Ikut suka ayah la bila nak pergi. Maybe after 2 hari spend in Madinah kut..."

Ok. very ayah-type ;).

And from his voice i know that he is enjoying this and this is the thing that he always waits for everytime Ramadan comes. Ayah will be fasting 19 hours today because of the time different. Pray that he will be alright and knowing him a very strong man, i know he can make it. Safe journey ayah pegi dan balik.

Nak dijadikan cerita, i totally forgot that ayah's trip was today!!!

Bila mak call at 8.30 this morning baru lah teringat. Then we laughed outloud together (owh gosh i miss mak), because mak also terlupa to call me and reminds me about today. She only remembered it lepas ayah dah boarded flight to KL. haha. Ramai sangat anak, sampai ada yang di lupa.

I reached home from KK late last night. Stopping for some drink make it latter than usual. It was a beautiful experience to be able to go to pasar, cook together with the boyfriend, sahur together. Bliss. It was our first time for ramadan.

This was the picture when we went to bazar Ramadan at Lok Kawi. The first time i feel like buying all the food sold. They have not many choices but basically, semenanjung food are there like nasi tomato, murtabak, nasi kerabu, ayam percik, all sorts of lauks and omaigod whatelse. I felt like buying everything!!

Fyi, if you've used to bazar ramadan in semenanjung like KL or Trg and Kel, there will be no hope you find the bazar in Sabah satisfying. i always went home empty-handed last 2 years i've been here. For the record, i've only been once to the bazar this year. Seriously, nothing much.

On Sunday, we went to KK and people were buzzing away like it was not a fasting month. Luckily we finished our raya shopping last week, so we basically just jalan-jalan this time.

And for iftar we have 5 lauks!!! @ Kak Nong! at the Harbour City.

The next trip will be this weekend. He's coming to my place. And then the next week, we are going home to Raya!!! How fast time flies kan?

I laike~

In Deep Trouble.

one little missy was missing.

Yes I am in the middle of a very deep trouble. I really miss my home, mak, ayah, the whole siblings, the in-laws, the home’s surrounding, the familiar and cosy feeling of being at home, mak’s homemade cook. Basically I really really miss everything about home. I want to be home.

The thing that I can’t wait for is going home to celebrate Aidilfiri at the end of this month. And after that, comes September when I’ll be going to fill in the transfer form. I’ve discussed with my boyfriend about the transfer; should I apply to be transferred to his place or we both apply to go back to peninsular. We need to discuss this with both families first. However, I prefer the latter option.

I’ve been struggling living and surviving alone here. I’m not a person who have many friends and that makes it harder to live. I don’t really make friends easily, I’m not good with strangers and people that I just knew, I’m not good at small talk with strangers. It awkwards me. Like always.

I’ve been living alright since 2009 here. And starting this year, I can feel the difference. I just feel that I don’t belong here anymore. I just can’t wait to go back home every school holidays and I can’t wait to go to my boyfriend’s place during weekends. It’s hard, yes I know. But, being rational, I have to force myself.

Alah bisa tegal biasa. Sometimes I can use this phrase in my daily life.

I have been away from home since 2002. But I’ve never feel this way. I miss my friends. When I was in NZ, it was not this hard. I have a good circle of friends that always be there no matter where, how and what. I miss Mai, Nada, Jie. I miss syd~ like hell. There’s always time I wanted to make call to one of these friends but I don’t know how to describe my feelings. I am not good in confrontation. I tend to swallow my feelings in front of others. That’s why my colleagues don’t realize that I am NOT happy.

My weight. It shows. I eat. Not a lot. But the same as others. But it goes down day by day. My inner self is NOT happy. Outside, I am good and fit as sd that people know.

I really need the transfer home. I can’t wait for it. I can’t imagine my life if I need to live here for another 6 months next year if I don’t get the transfer early 2012. I wish bahagian pertukaran of KPM read my blog. Owh hell!

the chaos.


little cheeky in the middle. Adorable~

Peeps, please pray for me.

A day trip to Nada's wedding.

Early warning: Pictorial entry.

we went to Nada's bertandang event in Kuala Terengganu. basically this was how i spent the christmas day with my family. let's follow us with the journey.

ready to vrooom?

the first stop was at a gerai nasi berlauk at Kuala besut. Mak had been worried that we will miss it since the gerai is very famous. we arrived here at 8 ++. still orang masih ramai beratur dan lauk makin berkurangan.
siap kene jengket nak tengok masih ada harapan untuk dapat nasi lagi atau tak. :p
Cantik pulak rumah ni. antik. tapi sudah tidak berpenghuni.

Jom, let's gerak to KT!

the second stop was Pantai penarik. we stopped here for our breakfast.
budak-budak ribena biasalah excited kalau dah nampak laut. ombak bergulung-gulung, sangat membuas. maklum lah musim tengkujuh kan.
cubaan melompat. tapi tak jadi. mungkin photographer tidak arif atau pun kualiti camera yang sangat low. haha. akhirnya jadi jugak separuh. dan terus keletihan.

jom kita makan dulu!

ingat nasi yang beli di gerai tadi? sempat ayah grabbed 5 bungkus sahaja. mak bawak bekal tea o panas. slurp! sedap.

continue the journey after eating then stop for some fuel.
ada tokoh mahu jadi pump attendant ke?

Sampai! ke homestay di mana Nada and family resided.
Sesi berjejak-kasih.

pengantin tengah mekap. each other?
Cam whoring. As usual.
the bride is ready! who is going to be Australian's resident for the next 1 and half years.

Let's convoy to the pengantin lelaki house.
the bride and the groom.
Sanding buat kesekian kalinya.

final pose with the pengantins. Good luck both in your masters!

Muka dah berminyak. Jom balik!

Sekian terima kasih.

TQ for reading this entry. Assalamualaikum.

Today.

Whatever decision that is made today is going to change the entire days of my life.

"Inilah petanda telah bermula
Ilusi baru dalam skesta
Memenuhi masa dengan ceria
Bagai ledakan supernova"

Please put your fingers across and pray that it's going to be a good one.

>3

footnote: Lirik lagu Adira, Ilusi.

Bola sepak maju?

While watching the football match between Ina and Mas. To update, we are in a very very bad situation right now. It's 4 to 1 goal. And since the last 80 minutes, we have been listening to ayah's blabbing of the match. And he finally dozed off at the 84th minutes with the last commentary:

" Dalam paper bukan main lagi berlagak cakap akan menang 2-0!"

But as usual, he stubbornly wanted to watch the game and forced us to watch it too.

Macam la tak tahu bola sepak kita kan?

Poso dok?

Semalam call rumah di negeri yang akan mengalami musim tengkujuh di bulan Disember nanti. Sempat bercakap dengan little woman at home. Umur nya sekarang 7 tahun. Bersamaan darjah 1. Call time is 4.30 pm. Berikut adalah perbualan kami:

Me: Adik poso dok?
Her: Poso lagi ni.
Me: Bagus adik ni.. Pukul brapo nk bukak poso?
Her: Kejap lagi lah. Sama lah ngan Kakda. Kakda buka jam brapo?
Me: 6.24. Best bukak awal dik. Sungguh pun. (provoke)
Her: Tak boleh. Mak cakap, kalu bukak poso awal berkawan ngn Saitan. Kak da jgn lah bukak awal.

Adoi doi.. Senyap terus 'Me'.

March's look forward.

1) a short one week break. gila kalau tak balik kan?

2) 15th of March. im going to drive down to KT for a very special friend's wedding. she's the one in the picture below. gonna meet up with some good friends too. can't wait really.

3) have a hot date with this beautiful lady (below) who has just got married last december. btw she's expecting now. the news that i shouldn't tell anyone yet really. it's still early. but, shhh.. just pretend that you don't read this ok? :p

i like march!