Posing.

When he tried his best to piss me off. Good job boy. -____-

I do bad today.

favim.com

Wordless Wednesday: Morning routine.

My boy's getting bigger and heavier.

Cranky little boy.

Muizz needs to do a passport to go Sabah with me after raya. So today we went to snap passport photo for him. He was cranky all the way from home, refused to sleep. By the time my sister parked the car, i was still breastfeeding him and we waited in the car for about 10 minutes for him to doze off. But his eyes were still wide open.

Tak kan nak balik rumah semula kan. After dah pujuk-pujuk, he's a bit calm and off we walk to the photo shop. We were lucky because there's no other customer at that time. 

Alhamdulillah. Muizz was behaving well these few minutes. 

After 3 clicks, i chose the most decent photo, he started to get cranky again. Oh boy! The original plan to go supermarket to buy stuff to bake cookies and cake was cancelled. My Muizz needed his daily sleeping dosage.

After waiting 5 minutes, we got his first ever passport photo.

Now, we have the photo, the next visit is to make his passport that i have to bring him along too. Pheww, hope he will behave tomorrow.

But the thing that i really worried this time is bringing him inside the plane. I cant imagine if he's cranky at that time. Muizz sayang, mummy hopes you behave well nanti ok. Be soleh-soleh je. Kesian mummy if you are cranky all the time. 

Well, today my Muizz turn 2-month old! :D

Till then.

Our first outing.

Captions.

pic 1 : Tiga ;)

pic 2: Sleeping in the car.

pic 3: Sneak peek baju raya u'olls. :p

pic 4: Boy's talk.
pic 5: At Jakel. Muizz changed clothes due to diapers leak.

We managed to settle our baju raya except for Muizz. It was hard to find him something that we both (I) love. It was great that you came back sayang even just for few days. Cant wait for your next trip home.

Husband's flight is tomorrow. I still cant believe that time flies so fast. Its already saturday and his paternity leave will be over tomorrow.

His confirmed next flight home will be for the aidilfitri. I dont know whether i can last that long, missing him.

miserable mood. :'(

A long wishes to my only one.

I’ve never met someone who loves me that much that you do
Who always bear with whatever I do
Who always be there for me
Although sometimes I can handle by myself
You, the one who’ve never complain even I break your heart
Many times

I want to apologize from you
For whatever mistakes I’ve done
For all the sins I’ve made that you hold alone
For not able to cook for you and iron your clothes for work
For not always be your bed-company
For not being the best whenever you need me
For always moody when yo u really need me
For sleeping too long that you can’t call me
For making you worry not answering your call
For always daydreaming and not focusing on you while we speaking

For all the love, care and attention you shower me
I know you love me so much
Thank you sayang for every single thing that you do
Because I know that every single thing you do
Is because of me

For our bright and colourful future together
I promise to always stay by your side
And be strong
As I know the feelings that we have
Is totally unbreakable

On the 27th year-day you are on this earth

I am glad to admit

That i am so incredibly lucky

To have you as my life partner

Happy 27 birthday bb.

The usual trip.

Ayah's flight to madinah was at 3pm. He will be there until 27th August and will be home on the 28th. It was a usual trip for him since he never miss going umrah since i don't really sure perhaps when i was 14 years old.

This time ayah pergi sendiri- bukan dengan travel agent or any package offered in the market. Semua diuruskan sendiri. His hotels and food overthere was managed by his friend who is already there. So, when i asked him on the phone this morning, "Bila ayah pergi Mekah?"His answer was, "Tak tahu lagi. Ikut suka ayah la bila nak pergi. Maybe after 2 hari spend in Madinah kut..."

Ok. very ayah-type ;).

And from his voice i know that he is enjoying this and this is the thing that he always waits for everytime Ramadan comes. Ayah will be fasting 19 hours today because of the time different. Pray that he will be alright and knowing him a very strong man, i know he can make it. Safe journey ayah pegi dan balik.

Nak dijadikan cerita, i totally forgot that ayah's trip was today!!!

Bila mak call at 8.30 this morning baru lah teringat. Then we laughed outloud together (owh gosh i miss mak), because mak also terlupa to call me and reminds me about today. She only remembered it lepas ayah dah boarded flight to KL. haha. Ramai sangat anak, sampai ada yang di lupa.

I reached home from KK late last night. Stopping for some drink make it latter than usual. It was a beautiful experience to be able to go to pasar, cook together with the boyfriend, sahur together. Bliss. It was our first time for ramadan.

This was the picture when we went to bazar Ramadan at Lok Kawi. The first time i feel like buying all the food sold. They have not many choices but basically, semenanjung food are there like nasi tomato, murtabak, nasi kerabu, ayam percik, all sorts of lauks and omaigod whatelse. I felt like buying everything!!

Fyi, if you've used to bazar ramadan in semenanjung like KL or Trg and Kel, there will be no hope you find the bazar in Sabah satisfying. i always went home empty-handed last 2 years i've been here. For the record, i've only been once to the bazar this year. Seriously, nothing much.

On Sunday, we went to KK and people were buzzing away like it was not a fasting month. Luckily we finished our raya shopping last week, so we basically just jalan-jalan this time.

And for iftar we have 5 lauks!!! @ Kak Nong! at the Harbour City.

The next trip will be this weekend. He's coming to my place. And then the next week, we are going home to Raya!!! How fast time flies kan?

I laike~

In Deep Trouble.

one little missy was missing.

Yes I am in the middle of a very deep trouble. I really miss my home, mak, ayah, the whole siblings, the in-laws, the home’s surrounding, the familiar and cosy feeling of being at home, mak’s homemade cook. Basically I really really miss everything about home. I want to be home.

The thing that I can’t wait for is going home to celebrate Aidilfiri at the end of this month. And after that, comes September when I’ll be going to fill in the transfer form. I’ve discussed with my boyfriend about the transfer; should I apply to be transferred to his place or we both apply to go back to peninsular. We need to discuss this with both families first. However, I prefer the latter option.

I’ve been struggling living and surviving alone here. I’m not a person who have many friends and that makes it harder to live. I don’t really make friends easily, I’m not good with strangers and people that I just knew, I’m not good at small talk with strangers. It awkwards me. Like always.

I’ve been living alright since 2009 here. And starting this year, I can feel the difference. I just feel that I don’t belong here anymore. I just can’t wait to go back home every school holidays and I can’t wait to go to my boyfriend’s place during weekends. It’s hard, yes I know. But, being rational, I have to force myself.

Alah bisa tegal biasa. Sometimes I can use this phrase in my daily life.

I have been away from home since 2002. But I’ve never feel this way. I miss my friends. When I was in NZ, it was not this hard. I have a good circle of friends that always be there no matter where, how and what. I miss Mai, Nada, Jie. I miss syd~ like hell. There’s always time I wanted to make call to one of these friends but I don’t know how to describe my feelings. I am not good in confrontation. I tend to swallow my feelings in front of others. That’s why my colleagues don’t realize that I am NOT happy.

My weight. It shows. I eat. Not a lot. But the same as others. But it goes down day by day. My inner self is NOT happy. Outside, I am good and fit as sd that people know.

I really need the transfer home. I can’t wait for it. I can’t imagine my life if I need to live here for another 6 months next year if I don’t get the transfer early 2012. I wish bahagian pertukaran of KPM read my blog. Owh hell!

the chaos.


little cheeky in the middle. Adorable~

Peeps, please pray for me.

Hati berlagu rindu.

ok. tajuk tak bleh blah. :p

Sebenarnya entry ini to mark up our 2 months anniversary as a couple. Tapi disebabkan masalah teknikal iaitu lambat bayar bil broadband, jadi talian sangat la seeelllooow.

Inai masih lagi ada di kuku. hopefully by 3 months anniversary it's still there. 2 months being a wife, i've been a lot stronger than i used to be. im now able to smile widely, i mean with all my heart. Memang rindu, tetapi makin hari makin boleh di tahan.

How i wish the time flies so fast and 2012 comes. But deep down inside, selalu tertanya-tanya: "Macam mana kalau tak dapat pindah?"

:(

Footnote: This was supposed to be a happy entry. lol.

At terminal 2

Am waiting for the flight now. Reading back 'my sunday' post makes me smile very wide. I got to experience it btw. Except it's not my sunday instead it's my saturday. Waking up with the boyfriend snoozing beside is bliss. Except he was not snoozing but trying hard to kejut me bgn subuh. At 5 am!! Gosh tak pernah saya bangun seawal tu awak oi... :p

Our saturday was spent under the hot and spicy sun. I've got plenty of pictura of our weekend together. Nantilah upload. Mau pergi solat. My flight will fly in another hour.

Serius penat ulang alik begini tau. Uhuk.

The undying love.

Current status.

Well i am married and subsequently a wife. ;)

You wanna heard news?

It just that last night i discovered that i have 32 tudungs and 48 selendangs!! OmG. Just calculate how many $$$ have i spent for that? and shockingly i have few which actually the same and i did not realize it? Oh my... Semalam i had to rearrange them because the twin tower of tudung and selendang almost runtuh. Tudung express (the one with awning) is not yet included in the calculation. Bear that in mind. :p

Talking about my work attire which obviously baju kurung or kebaya dan yang sewaktu dengannya; my two doors cupboard is now bursting with them. Oh my... Calculate again how many $$$ i spent for the kain itself and the upah jahit.

Patut lah semakin banyak gaji semakin rasa tidak cukup. ha ha.

Being rational myself, for this year i've only bought and sewn 2 baju kurungs. For 2 months and half this was quite an achievement. Money is now put aside for one and only important matter. I didn't plan it to be this soon, however seeing that it's happening really soon i have to stop myself, my desire from buying and shopping-ing sesuka hati.

I never imagine that this matter is taking a very large sum of money??? Oh my.. tak perlulah berteka-teki lagi. The cat is out of the bag already. I am getting married this year. YEAY YEAY!!!

Calculating the savings and the money in hand now (plus parents' welfare haha no doubt) i think we will manage to make it a success. Our plan is not that grand by the way. This coming month is renewing-car-insurance-month. Talking about car could really 'eat up' your $$$; as you said tasha.

Btw i know deep down that everything is going to be fine.

Fine. Yes. Really fine.

Its complicated.

sometimes it's difficult to understand man. everyone has job to do and everyone in this world are given 24 hours a day. what i want is only some of your time for me. can't you?

i am not deserved to be treated like this.

susah la.

Terduduk.

I have just received a news of a friend that she's going to get engaged this coming raya.

owh gosh. nobody would ever expect this if you knew her. yes. some of you knew her. 5 1/2 years studying together?

seriously i was so shocked and i am still now. i just can't believe my ears.

but indeed it was a very good news. i am glad that she told me before the engagement. kalau selepas, ada yang putus kawan. haha.

for you dearie if you read this, i am very very very happy for you. serius tadi aku rasa macam nk menangis. terduduk aku tadi. another good friend is moving on to another phase in life. i afraid that i will lost you, the ever-crazy-cheerful one. but i know that you would be the same.

she always asked me when will i get married. tengok-tengok, dia dulu.

I AM HAPPY FOR YOU.

and he is very lucky to have you.

I want changes.

i am easily bored with things. a lot of things. frankly speaking, i am also easily bored with people that i know. especially friends. new friends that use to be strangers before lah. the one that i got to be close in short time.

that is why i think i don't really have a bunch of close friends. i have a few. but too few.

boyfriend? yes. i do feel bored with it ('it' kah?) too. but not this one. i mean the one that i am with right now. he might be very lucky i reckon.

how about routine? i love routine. indeed routine makes my life organized. and i love to see my life organized. i am not an organized person. but i am trying to be one.

.........................

actually what i want to say here is i am thinking of changing the layout of this blog. i am starting to feel bored looking at it.

any suggestion of colours or design? or website?

Looking for great insights.

i am reading this book right now. and i am really looking forward for the new insights of knowing and understanding the opposite sex in order to improve communication and getting what we want in our relationship.

.

One minute breathing.

my life is a bit in chaos. i thumbed print at 6.48 am for two days sudah. yes. that means i am late to school.

a lot of things happened in my life right now. unexpected. many unsettled tasks to do.

due to that, i think i almost have a fight with sm. every night. yes. every night. sorry dear. the hormone is not that stable these days. and you are not physically here with me, so i am missing you so much.

well, what's more to say here. i have no time to update this blog. even to read the other blog. my in-hand diary is also abandoned.

i sometime forgot how to breathe. properly.

Banyak sgt bende berlaku.

it's been quite a while i know.

dan banyak sgt perkara yang berlaku. of course i didn't get the chance to do what i really wanted to do (the previous post).

so. what had happened?

1- last 2 weeks i've been in school since morning having classes as usual. finished schooling at 2.05, started the debate practise till 3.45. balik rumah tukar outfit, pergi ke sekolah semula for the handball training till 5.30 pm. everyday for the last 2 weeks.

2- we have convocation day on the previous saturday, and handball training at the evening. i went back home at 12pm to wash bundles of dirty clothes. manually. washing machine at home rosak. damn!

3- evening: when i was at the field with the kids, i was attacked by a very sharp pain on the chest. my ashtma was coming i think. i've been working my ass the whole week plus 3 baldi baju yang di basuh. i just can feel it's coming.

4- malam: da x tahan, i can't breathe as usual, and even i cant' swallow my own saliva. that's a very bad sign. i went to see the doc. doc want to prescribe the inhaler but i refused. tanak bergantung dgn bende alah itu. futhermore, i cn't remember anymore on how to use it. da lama x guna. so doc gave me the medication. yag sgt kuat. everytime i take ubat tu, my whole body will be vibrating/ shaking after an hour i took it. so after 2 days i stopped taking the drugs. cos with my hands shaking i can't even type a text!! for God sake.

5- of course i didn't tell my parent. but my other half dah separuh mati bimbang. i can't even speak well at that time tho!

6- the handball tournament is now over. and what i got is a dark-brown burnt tone on my face. gosh! i can't even recognize my own face. frankly speaking it's not brownish, it's kinda black! but the result was quite worthwhile. my boys got silver and the girls got bronze. what an achievement.

7- since the handball is over, i can now concentrate on the debate plak. and this coming thursday, we'll be off to kudat. for the KAT- Kejohanan Antara Teknik.

...............................

toddles~