i am good

yeah. i am good. but not too fine. i am quite proud of myself because i able to go through today without any tears fall. well, not yet maybe. i really cnt stop thinking of that thing? why am i? why this happens to me? why do i need to think of people who are now enjoying their days (while i'm not) instead of thinking of anything else. it's not that i want to think about it. no no. if possible i just want to remove all memories about that. delete, put into the bin and then empty the bin. exactly like computer. abis cite kan. i just cant avoid it. it is just automatic. like wayang plays in front of me.(maybe not exact, but well, i can imagine) ok it is my fault, my bad to think about it because it hurts me. soo much. damn much. and till now, i just couldnt figure out why i still thinking of the thing that i dont want to think anymore. adakah ia sudah menjadi badi for me? owh, i hope not. nauzubillah.

it makes me fell useless, restless, buggered. PENAT SGT!!! when i'm alone i think of it. but not always. ok2 i admit. it's always. all the time. except for the time that i think of my assignment and test which is just around the corner. (lucky that i still can focus on the study). even when i'm having blast wonderful times with lovely friends, buddies and housemates, i couldnt stop thinking of that single thing. eeeerrrgh!!! so tired. it makes my life goes haywire.miserable. but the most scary feeling is EMPTINESS. i just feel empty. even when i am with others (who i know love and care of me).

i just cant avoid it.

i just want it to be like the good old days.

i just want it to be like before.

i just miss that moment.

i just miss my life.

i just miss everything.

(which i know is impossible)

what have happened to me?

sampai bila i'll be like this i dont know.

hidup mcm x hidup je.

PENAT SANGAT!!!