at 11.29 am. while i'm still sleeping (i'm a sleepyhead. i know) i received this. what a surprise kan? tengah tido, then a handsome guy knocked on the door and delivered a bouquet of white roses?? omg. if you still remember my previous entry, i asked for a bunch of red and white roses. and now you see, i receive it. what a bless kan? i'm so lucky chap. i know there's many people love me, esp the sender of the white roses. what else do i need? i'm so not- bersyukur with what i've got.
so, what do i feel as i received it? i dont know myself. i'm just blur. ida and jie yang lagi excited jerit2 and lompat2 tgk the flowers. ye la, x pernah pun org dtg ketuk pintu our house delivering a bouquet of roses kan?? gosh, they were so excited. but me? i cant even open my eyes. the eyes were still sleepy and swollen some more!!! i took the roses, halau both of them kuar from my room (haha, jahat gler aku), closed the door, sniffed the roses a bit, then masuk duvet balik. i tried to sleep, for another 1/2 hour but i cant close my eyes. i kept on thinking and rethinking about the white roses and the sender. i cnt sleep no more. i woke up at 12pm, have a long hot bath. (mataku still swollen.uhuh.) i cried a lot last nite. o lot. and i wouldnt cry no more. i hope. i am a bad girl. yes i am.
nak gak ke? buat la 1 entry, then nx week, untung2 ada org bagi gak.hehe. tengok gambar je lah ek korang.nk sniff gak? x payah!!! haha (evil laugh). jangan jelles k. ko ado???
i dont know what to say. i'm happy to receive this. yes i admit. from whom? nk tau ke? it's from a friend. yes, a friend who gives loves for me, but not in return. i just cant. to the sender; i am so sorry. i am a bad girl. as you said i am so cruel to you. i am sorry. no other words i can say, just sorry. altho you dont like the words. i cant ask you to not love me, i cant ask you to stop loving me, but please dont hurt yourself anymore. dont burden yourself with me. dont shoulder me in you. i dont want you to go away yet i dont want you to be close to me. so complicated huh. yeah. that's how i am. we can be just friend ok. like other friend. like usual. like...owh, you know what i mean (if you ever read my blog). yang pasti, i will be missing you dear. so much. i'm sorry for hurting you all this while. i just cant accept it. and thank you for the roses. i love it. and i mean it. they are splendid and lovely. thank you so much. i cant ask for more. now i realise, while He takes love from me, He gives me strength at the same time. a lot. i am thankful.~ i dont want to say goodbye, and i wouldnt say it~
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