one little missy was missing.
Yes I am in the middle of a very deep trouble. I really miss my home, mak, ayah, the whole siblings, the in-laws, the home’s surrounding, the familiar and cosy feeling of being at home, mak’s homemade cook. Basically I really really miss everything about home. I want to be home.
The thing that I can’t wait for is going home to celebrate Aidilfiri at the end of this month. And after that, comes September when I’ll be going to fill in the transfer form. I’ve discussed with my boyfriend about the transfer; should I apply to be transferred to his place or we both apply to go back to peninsular. We need to discuss this with both families first. However, I prefer the latter option.
I’ve been struggling living and surviving alone here. I’m not a person who have many friends and that makes it harder to live. I don’t really make friends easily, I’m not good with strangers and people that I just knew, I’m not good at small talk with strangers. It awkwards me. Like always.
I’ve been living alright since 2009 here. And starting this year, I can feel the difference. I just feel that I don’t belong here anymore. I just can’t wait to go back home every school holidays and I can’t wait to go to my boyfriend’s place during weekends. It’s hard, yes I know. But, being rational, I have to force myself.
Alah bisa tegal biasa. Sometimes I can use this phrase in my daily life.
I have been away from home since 2002. But I’ve never feel this way. I miss my friends. When I was in NZ, it was not this hard. I have a good circle of friends that always be there no matter where, how and what. I miss Mai, Nada, Jie. I miss syd~ like hell. There’s always time I wanted to make call to one of these friends but I don’t know how to describe my feelings. I am not good in confrontation. I tend to swallow my feelings in front of others. That’s why my colleagues don’t realize that I am NOT happy.
My weight. It shows. I eat. Not a lot. But the same as others. But it goes down day by day. My inner self is NOT happy. Outside, I am good and fit as sd that people know.
I really need the transfer home. I can’t wait for it. I can’t imagine my life if I need to live here for another 6 months next year if I don’t get the transfer early 2012. I wish bahagian pertukaran of KPM read my blog. Owh hell!
The thing that I can’t wait for is going home to celebrate Aidilfiri at the end of this month. And after that, comes September when I’ll be going to fill in the transfer form. I’ve discussed with my boyfriend about the transfer; should I apply to be transferred to his place or we both apply to go back to peninsular. We need to discuss this with both families first. However, I prefer the latter option.
I’ve been struggling living and surviving alone here. I’m not a person who have many friends and that makes it harder to live. I don’t really make friends easily, I’m not good with strangers and people that I just knew, I’m not good at small talk with strangers. It awkwards me. Like always.
I’ve been living alright since 2009 here. And starting this year, I can feel the difference. I just feel that I don’t belong here anymore. I just can’t wait to go back home every school holidays and I can’t wait to go to my boyfriend’s place during weekends. It’s hard, yes I know. But, being rational, I have to force myself.
Alah bisa tegal biasa. Sometimes I can use this phrase in my daily life.
I have been away from home since 2002. But I’ve never feel this way. I miss my friends. When I was in NZ, it was not this hard. I have a good circle of friends that always be there no matter where, how and what. I miss Mai, Nada, Jie. I miss syd~ like hell. There’s always time I wanted to make call to one of these friends but I don’t know how to describe my feelings. I am not good in confrontation. I tend to swallow my feelings in front of others. That’s why my colleagues don’t realize that I am NOT happy.
My weight. It shows. I eat. Not a lot. But the same as others. But it goes down day by day. My inner self is NOT happy. Outside, I am good and fit as sd that people know.
I really need the transfer home. I can’t wait for it. I can’t imagine my life if I need to live here for another 6 months next year if I don’t get the transfer early 2012. I wish bahagian pertukaran of KPM read my blog. Owh hell!
the chaos.
little cheeky in the middle. Adorable~
Peeps, please pray for me.
4 comments:
miss u too!! huhu. same problem. lets pray. hope everything will be alright!
oh ya! awat invisible dlm fb. pyh nak contact2.
love,
jie
i'm not a wife yet...but soon (insya Allah,please pray everythg will go as plan) will join u all punya club.so i dont really understand the feeling of needing to be with hubby all the time.tp i think i know how it feels la...hehe...all the best to u sayda...n jie...i miss u guys too.
p/s:berat trn lagi?berat aku naik after 13 days puasa...huhuhu...
lots of love,
Mai
jie: gosh i miss u babe. dont want to start writing again?
yup. on hiatus in fb. i already add u thru the husband's account.
mai: not everyone will experience the same i reckon. jie may be easier or harder than me.
ntah. susah nk describe mai. but no pressure k. may u have a joyful life.
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