I received a letter couple weeks ago directed me to move to Beaufort. It was perhaps an awaited news for certain people but not for me. I knew about it before the letter arrived but seeing that it hasn't arrived when it was supposed to, I guess it will never arrived.
However, I am wrong and the letter got to me with the date of new lapor diri is only 1 week away from the date it arrived.
I cried when I received the letter. It was not the transfer that I wanted. I can't say that I was forced to accept it, but somehow I think I'm forced to. I hate it when people decide on my life, especially a very important decision that can change my entire life. I hate that I was treated like a small child that I have to obey whatever their plan is. It was difficult to explain the whole situation here. What can I say is, I'm not in the position to decline this offer anymore.
By the way, time flies fast and I have another week in Twu before I move for good to Beaufort. The words 'for good' really affect me so much. It bothers me so much that some nights I cried myself to sleep. I really love my life here. And having to know that the transfer that I applied last year was rejected, I have prepared myself to live alone here, at least until June. Having this sudden news affected and shocked me and I really can't accept that my life will drastically change.
I love the way this small town operates. I love the way it has made me grown up. It shapes me the way I am right now. Here is when I spend the most important years in my life. It teaches me how to be an adult, be responsible to myself, independence and stand on my own two feet. Here is where I started my career, my adult life, getting to know the meaning of surviving life, having a home that I love so much although it's rented and buying my own car. Basically, I have everything that I want in this small town. I feel home here.
I can't imagine that this move affected me so much that it's so difficult for me to accept the fact that I'll be leaving this place soon for good. Maybe I'm still in denial. I can't believe that I will leave this place with such a hard feeling.
Although the mix emotions I'm having, the only reason that I look forward for this move is I'll be able to be with the husband. We finally will be able to live together. He will have to travel 70 minutes to and fro to his school and the worst part of this move is I will work office hours which is from 7 to 4. It's not school anymore. It's a college. Huh, how excited that sounds? Nope.
If you know me, you will know that I'm not that good with strangers. It's not easy for me to make new friends. I am not the one who will go say hi to people during parties or get-together. I prefer to stay away from those people and sometimes I hope people will not try to make small talk with me. Weird, I know. Since I came here, this year was the starting year that I'm making friends, I mean real friends. The one that we can talk about anything, we can laugh together and the ones that we don't feel weird to be with in silence.
I am going to be in such difficult time once I move to the new workplace I guess. And having to survive till 4 pm?? Owh my.
This one, is not going to be a smooth transfer for me. It takes time I know. But how long?
3 comments:
salam dear. be strong! i know it is always easier said than done but, hey, u'll be living with mr hubby, like finally! that's really something =) doas for both of you. take care mummy!
take it the positive way. we all have to move on eventually right.?? why dont start now :). btw, congrats walaupun sedih. but you apply for it right.?? hehe
Come on, girl.
You're better than that.
There is so much goodness in you.
So much more to be shared with the new people you will meet & work with.
This move can't be for good, right?
You'll still be able to move back to Semenanjung.
The only difference is it might take a longer time.
One day, you will get that transfer you desire.
Don't let it get you down.
=)
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