A teacher's patience.

Ive never felt so overwhelmed with feelings before while dealing with students.

It was previous Tuesday when i entered this one class, that i cant contain my anger, i snapped then i just walked away from the class promising myself that i will never enter that class again. Not for any reason what so ever.

Actually its been so long that i kept my patience in tact with this particular class. Precisely, since they were in Semester 1 when i taught them History subject. Now they are in Semester 4 and ive been teaching them English for two semesters continuously. There were hiccups along the way, i said to myself to be patience - this is just the challenge of being a teacher. Futhermore, the English level for students in this class are a range of intermediate and high intermediate. They are among good English students in this college, compared to other courses. Im actually quite lucky to have this class. Thus i can remain this long teaching them eventhough my inside is really crying with pain, i mean anger.

Its been too much for me to handle. They are becoming more relax in class, didn't bother to do the task i assign to them, not handling assignments although i repeatedly telling them that the assignments carried major marks for their certificate, giving various reasons for not doing the homeworks or assignments, and mind-sleeping in class. I know those ive listed above are quite normal challenge for teachers. But at the end of the day, i felt so helpless that i gave up and i know i have to do something with it. i cant let this go like this anymore.

My husband who is also a teacher always a soother. He told me to be patience because other teachers are facing great great challenge if compared to what i have. He will see me not in good mood a day or the night before i have this particular class and soothe me. It does help me for a while but after i enter the class, all my preparation, excitement and plan go whoooops! Gone. And im left with frustration.

They are good students. But perhaps they are too comfortable with me and the way i teach so they didnt respect and appreciate me anymore. Its time for the change. This year is my 5th year of teaching. I know im still a kid. The decision i made is actually for the students. I dont want to continue teaching them with no heart thus i change it with other teacher. Luckily our schedule is very negotiable that im able to do that.

The new class that i got is lower to intermediate students and they are well-known with kaki ponteng and kaki tidur in class. But ive made this decision and im taking this challenge whole-heartedly.

Inshaa Allah for a good reason.