Wrath.

i've been so bad these few days. owh. so cruel, i must correct it. the emotions just filled me up. i cnt stop to just blurt it out! everything!! anything!!!

i rarely be so blunt with things regard to my feelings. i just hate it. so much!!! it's so sickening that makes me to just spill it all.

rasa nak muntah! bluweeek!

i dont know how much sins i've collected from the bluntness. i mean, just from it. i must have more sins from other things that ive done. but i didnt realize it. perhaps. but this one is clear. i know that i collected lots and lots of sins from it. simply. umpamanya kalau puasa pun kurus cekeding dah pahala puasa. or maybe none at all.

i sound like collecting sins is like the hobby, as in collecting stamps? owh. whatever!

i was so bad. i feel like going to explode. just minutes then i will explode. but luckily i was able to control myself after sometimes. after ive spilled it out! everything i feel!! eergh!!!

and alhamdulillah. it was all my personal monologue. it happened inside me only. i didnt blurt it out thru the silly mouth. im not that stupid yet ok. and i dont have the courage to do that. but i know i still get the sins from it. although no one can hear it, but i can hear it. OUTLOUD. and God as well. He knows that i was cursing, insulting, saying those swear funny words inside. i feel like im gonna explode within seconds. but i have to be rational. owh. sakit sungguh!!!

im so glad that i didnt say it outloud. i didnt. and i dont want. but when it happened for the second time, i just cnt take it. but i must keep it. still doing all those monologues. at least i didnt make the other party stunned or shocked die due to my bluntness. still. i keep it. inside. and try to relax.

the mood strikes only in the morning. since i have to wake up early in the morning everyday for the past week, which is really not me. yeah, im not a morning person i guess. so i decided that i can blame the have-to-wake-up-in-the-morning-thingy-to-go-to-school which is so bleergh!!

and blame the hormones as well. i felt like getting high fever this morning when i woke up.

owh well. congratulation to me. ive finished the school observation today. no more waking- up- in- the- morning- to- catch- up- the- bus- for- the- 20km- school- from- home which is so sick!

also, it marks the starting of the official long holidays (which is till january 2008) for me. eheh. sila la jelles ok.

i prefer to keep all the evil inside. speak no evil like in the photo. well. at least not outloud. haha.

i will come back once the hormones is a bit girlish. haha. esp for the siaran tertunda(s).